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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Family, Friends, Relationships, and Sex Life (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Family, Friends, Relationships, and Sex Life
Heather
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There are no "rules" like your friends say, though I still think it's probably best for you to invest your energy in taking care of yourself right now, rather than focusing on romance.

I think it's fantastic you're thinking about nursing. People of all genders and orientations are and can be nurses, so I'm not sure I understand the issue -- your issue? -- about it being "gay." Some nurses are lesbian, gay or bisexual, some are straight, regardless of gender, just as is the case for every job and field there is.

Per that bump, that's something to ask a doctor about, ultimately, but if it isn't causing you any pain or discomfort, it's not likely anything to worry about.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peterg
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Ok thanks, now this here is more for venting but you may reply if you please...

My sister really gets every single damn bloody thing she wants... First off she got and iPod, next she got a MacBook, third she got a full ride scholarship to Iowa state, fourth was the iPhone, which she just got tonight. I just don't like the way society functions at times, usually rewarding those that are good looking and smart, much like my parents do as well. I mean how you succeed in live is based on your intelligence, how your marital status and mating chances are based on your beauty or looks.

But what about the rest of us?! Not I'm not calling the rest of you ugly or dumb, but why aren't average people rewarded?

All I have is an iPod touch, and a phone, which I should mention was free...

But ya know, I'm a nice guy and all, but am I ever rewarded in great ways for that? You guessed it, no. All I get is some candy from my teachers. I mean I do love helping people but my sister gets rewarded for being smart, I get stuff taken away for even trying my best at school.

Quite frankly I don't see the similarities between the two efforts and rewards.

And that's why I don't like my family and why I ran away etc. F**king twats. (sorry for the language)

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peterg
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Please read previous, and I have more to add to it too... Also while I was looking for a new phone I wanted a touch screen, but my parents wouldn't let me get one because with verizon, our carrier, you have to pay either a 10 dollar or 30 dollar data fee each month, but with the iPhone my sister got, you have to pay the 30 dollar monthly fee. But like I mentioned before my sister gets every damn bloody thing she wants while I get shit. :/ god I can't wait until the day I turn 18 and/or move out. I absolutely hate it here, I don't get equal benefits/opportunities. :/
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Heather
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I really feel like talking about who gets what phone is outside what we do here.

I also think focusing on the difference in what kind of material extras you and your sister get -- especially with something like cell phones, which aren't an essential like food, healthcare, clothing or shelter -- is a sound thing to look at when it comes to staying home or running away, or to look at if a family or home is a safe place to be.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Carpe Diem
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I realize that you were venting, but it may help to realize that a lot of people do not have *any* sort or phone or ipod or anything of that sort. You have also mentioned having a video game console as well as a computer, so perhaps being thankful for what you do have would make it easier to accept what you don't have. Just a thought.

Have you considered getting a job so you would be able to buy what you wanted? That would also be good since I hear you talking about leaving home as soon as you turn 18, so if in fact you do decide to do that (and as Heather said, who gets what material objects probably shouldn't be a big factor into that decision) you will need a way to support yourself.

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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peterg
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Ok, so I have my family blocked from seeing my posts on facebook, because I usually tend to use social networking sites as a way to vent. Well last night my dad asked me to unblock him... Do I have to listen to him, cause after all, it is my facebook account, and I have ultimate control as to who sees what, don't I?
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peterg
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In addition to the previous post...

Well I applied for a job at the home depot, hopefully I'll get hired cause I've applied at numerous places in the past but there was no positive turn out... I have more to say, but I'll save that for tomorrow cause it's late and my parents are strict... Night.

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peterg
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In addition to the previous 2 posts... Well depending upon my financial situation between now and the time I'm 18, august 3rd, I may move out, where idk? And that's even if I get a job or two to make money, but after i get CNA certification, i'll probably move out cause I'll have to go to college soon anyhow, and my parents aren't helping me pay for any of that.

But I'm always sick of being compaired to my sister because she had a 4.0 gpa, and got a full ride scholarship to iowa state, and never did anything bad like sexting, like I did.

I have a 2.0 gpa, and my class rank is 178/315 56% and my parents are still mad at me for doing better than half of my class and for trying my hardest... Sometimes I don't get it should they be happy for how I'm doing not how I'm not doing?! W/e I'll find a way to make it by my way not theirs

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Heather
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I can certainly understand how constant comparisons to a sibling can seriously get you down and make it feel awfully hard to be yourself.

If you moved out before you were 18, would your parents allow you to do that? In other words, since it's not legal, would they not call the police or DCFS if you did?

In moving out, my best suggestion when one doesn't need to move in an emergency situation is to take the time to save some money, get solid in whatever job you have and also take time to seek out somewhere to live you know you can afford for a while. With a first-place that almost always means roommates, so you could certainly start keeping your eye open for ads for people looking for housemates now, even if it's just to get an idea of the kind of rent you'd need to be paying.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peterg
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Ok thanks, and yesterday my parents yelled at me because I left our band concert early, and "missed a great show". And they were also yelling at me because of my grades, I have a 1.9 GPA and I should be getting a "4.0 like your sister" and so after that, I decided to have a rant on Twitter, which has become my own "personal venting room" because my family members don't have one, and only a few of my friends do so it really isn't open to hundreds to see as it would be on Facebook, well here's what I said on Twitter (each little paragraph is a new post on twitter because there's a limit of 140 characters per post) (sorry for the explicits)

"Twitter rant: I ******* hate them, they yell at me for no reason, and because I apparently forgot to turn on the computer for them...

They always expect me to be like my sister, getting a 4.0 GPA, getting a full ride scholarship to a college, and to be great in the future..

And to also be like my brother because they never "got into trouble" well new-flash! I'm not ******* them, I'm me and I control my destiny..

And yes ya know what I ******* realize I fucked up my life in many ways, but ya know, I've learned from that it's ******* called life you...

Make mistakes and learn from them, that's what I'm ******* doing! And ya know, who cares if I'm taking a CNA class next year or if I write...

Poetry, or if a lot of my friends are girls. That's just me, it makes me unique. And my friends love me more than you, and I love them...

Just the same. And I know they'll always be there for me in my time of need. And I can't thank them enough for all they do. And do you...

Remember last year back on May 5th? How I ran away, I'm sure you still think it's because of my grades and you grounding me... Well it's not, it's...

Because of the way you treat me, I'm treated like shit compared to Anthony and Becky, yet I'm the nicest one out of them. But you...

Obviously don't see that. But whatever it's too late for that, cause i've already made my plans, and my decision is well thought out...

And the easiest part of the plan would be telling you, the hardest is doing what comes after, but come august 3rd, I'm moving out...

Where will I go, honestly idk but what I can say is it will be better there than it is here. And I'll just have to do what I can to...

Survive... I use to let you all walk all over me, but not anymore! Nope, I'm going to start standing up for myself, and I don't give a...

**** what you say or do to me because I'm entitled to my own rights and I know those well, and if I want to be a Buddhist, I will, if I...

Want to be a nurse, i will, if I want to live in England, I will, if I want to go to a technical college, I will...

If I want to be ME, well, I'm already am, and there's no ******* way you'll stop me, it's my life, my goals, my ambitions! This is me...

Me, coming out of my cage, taking charge, becoming who I want to become, and if I have to take you out of the picture and disassociate...

Myself from you, I'm ready to do that, and there's no stop me from becoming what I am! [Smile]

Ranting over, man that felt good, I really had to let that out. Thanks [Smile] "

And I don't think they (my parents) will let me move out before I'm 18. But ya idk, I'm going to see if any of my friends are considering moving out or if I could move in with them (and their family), you know, like rent a room out. But that might have conflicting factors considering a majority of my friends are girls. But I'll look in newspapers and such for apartments and/or roommates but I think it will be hard because I'm from a somewhat small area, and I don't want to travel very far away, because I have no mode of transportation and I want to be close to my friends should a crisis happen and I need help. But that's also a problem because a small area means small options.

Today in my personal finance class we watched a documentary about the guy who did the "super size me" McDonald's documentary in which he ate nothing but McDonald's for 30 days, but in this one he went to Columbus Ohio to live off of minimum wage for a whole month, and he got a job doing various things through a temporary job service, and he was only making about $44 a day. And he kept running short on cash. And because he was in a big city he was able to find an apartment for $300 a month, but with me being in a city of 9000 approximately, it'll be hard to find a place to live for that price. And I'm afraid that that might happen to me, and I even started to tear up, considering how close to reality that maybe for me.

And if I do move out, like I said earlier, I'd like to stay with in the school district because of the CNA class I'm taking next year, cause if I can get that, I can make a somewhat better living conditions for myself.

I'm just hoping I can get that job at the home depot to make some money within the next 5 months I have until my birthday. And to also find possible places to live within the area and possible roommates.

Well my parents just talked to me, and they're still mad that my grades are low, but shouldn't they be happy the I'm doing better than half of my class? My class rank is currently 56% 178/315. And on top of that, it's been psychologically proven that if you tell a child something like "your stupid or you'll never make it" that the child will actually stet to believe that and then they will do bad because they have been told so numerous times that they will fail. It's pretty said if you think about it.

And back to the moving out, I am looking at books about moving out and independent living and next year, if I'm still here, like living in the same area, going to the same school, I'm going to take an independent living class which will help and my personal finance class that i'm taking now will also help in the process.

I'm kinda hoping that for my small area, that there is a free medical clinic, thrift or free stuff store. I know that there is a goodwill up in delavan, not far from here by car, maybe half hour, but what if I don't have a car... And what if next year I have to miss school to go to work to help pay for rent that month, how will they (school district) react, cause I know a lot of teens aren't living on their own. (I know you don't have many answers to those questions just asked but it's just stuff to consider) well I'm going to bed, thanks and good night.

[ 03-01-2011, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: peterg ]

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peterg
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Read previous post, accidentally hit the quote button. Thanks

[ 03-02-2011, 06:45 AM: Message edited by: peterg ]

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Heather
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Can you maybe give us more of a clue of what you're asking for here? I'm having a hard time finding where you've got questions, what they are, and what's about the area of work that we do as an organization.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peterg
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It was more of just an update I guess, and now that I thought about it, you could've used that time you took to read about someone that actually had a sexual related emergency.

Well, I hung out with Lizzy last night, and as I was about it leave, she kissed me, on the lips [Smile]

That's all that's new for me

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Heather
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No worries, I just wasn't sure if there was a question in there I wasn't seeing. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peterg
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hey, well, yesterday I drove out to Lizzy's, behind my parents back. But Lizzy's mom knew about me coming as I had called her earlier in the day. And I told my brother that I was going there because other wise he would've been wondering where I am, and wanting a ride home. but he decided to stay after school anyways.

Well about ten minutes after arriving at Lizzy's my brother called me asking for me to pick him up, which I thought was rubbish considering the fact that he could've easily taken the late bus home, which is the reason why they have late buses. well before I left Lizzy's house, I asked her out, she said, "sorry, but I seem to have more fun with you as a friend." And then I left to pick up my brother from school.

Driving to the school, pretty sad and mad, my brother called me telling me to pick him up at the commons, which is at one side of the school, but I told him to come to the front of the school, which is on the other side of the building, of course, being the stubbon *** that he is I knew he'd refuse, but because I'm nice, I went to the commons anyhow, and when he got in the car, he was saying how I should treat him with more respect. But really, he's the one who should treat me with respect considering the fact that I even came to pick his lazy *** up!

Later when we were home and my parents came home they wanted to talk to me about what happened that day, and apparently they found out, and I know who told them, my brother.

My parents even thought that I was going there for sexual reasons, which wasn't the case at all, I know that Lizzy wants to wait til she's married to have kids, and even sex.

But now, I'm done trusting them, especially my brother, he's lost all my respect, trust, and all riding privigles with me. and I don't care what my parents say to me, I'll refuse it no matter what, if I put my trust into him, and he betrays me, he's going to have to suffer the consequences, and after all it's my license and I'll drive when I feel like driving, not when someone else needs to go some place, they can find their own transportation.

There's sometimes when I just can't wait to be 18, cause then I call my own shots, which is also why I'l somewhat fearful because I'm held liable which means I could be thrown into jail, but w/e.

and as for the job hunting, and apartment looking etc, that's not going so well, I've applied at like 20-30 different places, and I no body has gotten back to me. but I'll keep on looking, in hopes of finding one or two jobs soon, so I can possible move out. idk what I'm going to do for sure yet, as much as I'd like to move out, there might be complications with be just being 18, still in high school, and working a probably minimum wage job. Sometimes I wish I had lived in a big city like Milwaukee where I could get some aid though city run programs.

But I'm sure I'll find a way, even if I have to move in with a friend, that'll be better for me.

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Carpe Diem
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You know, you've talked in the past about your brother not being someone who you feel you can trust with certain things, so maybe in the future you should reconsider whether or not you are going to share potentially sensitive information with him.

Can you explain what you mean when you say you are fearful about turning 18 "because [you're] held liable which means [you] could be thrown in jail. Is there something specific you fear going to jail for. As you probably know, someone does not need to be 18 to go to jail, and plenty of people under that age get arrested and do jail time.

--------------------
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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peterg
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Ya... Ok, so earlier I mentioned a had a bump on my penis, well the area around it has swelled, and it opened up while I was showering, and White stuff came out, a squeezed it out and then some blood and clear fluid came out. Should I be concerned at all?
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peterg
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well, since that bump opened up, it hasn't returned, so I guess that's good.

well, on sunday I was masturbating, and while I was doing it, I heard a "pop" noise in my genital area, is that anything to be concerned of? and I also masturbated yesterday to see if the popping thing had any effect, I was able to masturbate to ejaculation, but it took a lot longer than expected, and there was a lot of pre-ejaculant before I had fully ejaculated. But i don't know if this was due to a result of the popping noise from sunday, or just me not being that aroused.

Well, Prom's coming up on May 7th, and I'm kind of nervous for it, cause this girl I like, and she likes me, Allison, asked me to prom "as friends". but idk if I should go with her or not, because well, I'm sure we all know what happens to a lot of people on prom night, they have sex. while I'm not 100% sure I'm ready for it, I'm pretty confident that I am. But with Allison, ya see, she's already had sex, and I haven't and quite frankly, I'd prefer to lose my virginity to another virgin because both parties will have more of a connection, but it's also pretty hard to find virgin girls in today's society, but I think that it's be best if I, and the girl I have sex with, are both virgins, just so we have more of a connection, both before, during, and after. So I think I'll just skip the sex on prom night if Allison wants to have sex. I was thinking about going with her and then ditching her, but I figured I better not do that, cause it's prom, for one, and it's a really bad thing to do and it makes me look bad, so I'll just go with Allison as friends.

So this month is the year anniversary of me having a Scarleteen account! [Smile] and you've all helped me so much. Thanks [Smile]

Also, on May 5th it will be my one year anniversary of me running away. Well, in memory, I'm writing a poem, but instead of using words like "I" "me" and "my" etc, I changed the charater to a female, who is nameless. I will also try to visit the spot, where I stayed for the night, and also just look at Jessica's house, Jessica was the girl who helped me that night, and also she's been mad at me for quite sometime, and she doesn't want to be friends with me. but if we were friends, I'd certainly love to go back inside her house, even if only for a minute, just because she's helped me through a lot, and I really haven't compensated for it :/. I really do miss her though, and if given the opportunity, I'd want to be friends again. But nonetheless, I'll just look at her house for a bit, not to sound weird or anything, but just to remember that night, and I'll also visit the playground I went to sleep at, well more like stay awake all night. Maybe I'll carve or write my initals, and the year I ran away in the wood of the playground fort. But idk for sure yet.

thanks [Smile]

[ 04-19-2011, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: peterg ]

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Stephanie_1
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Most likely the popping noise was something like your shoulder, wrist, fingers, etc cracking. If it had been something else you likely would have felt it/felt pain.

Per going to prom or not, you shouldn't go in expecting you'll have sex if you're going as friends and that's never even entered conversation between you. How about just deciding whether or not you want to go to prom with her as friends to go to the dance with a friend, and not about whether or not you'll have sex. Too? Let's keep away from saying things like "it's tough to find a virgin girl anymore" because A) Virginity is more of a social concept than anything and B) Plenty of people, guys and girls alike, are not having sex for any reason that is 100% theirs and C) Because when you are ready to have sex with someone it's because you want to with that person and both are ready and want that, not because they are or aren't a virgin, okay?

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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peterg
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(in addition to the previous post) Well I've fallen in love with 2 tv shows, "Skins" and "My So-Called Life". Because they are both about teens and their problems. And i can relate to some of the charters in both of the shows. In the one I've recently started to watch, "My So-Called Life" I'm like Rikkie because he was kicked out of his uncle's house, and forced to livenout side and with friends. While although I wasn't kicked out, I ran away, and stayed away for only one night, but i did go to my friend's house. But ya i like reading and watching things that I can relate to because it gives me that sense that I'm not the only one, ya know, it makes me feel like I belong.
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peterg
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So tomorrow is May 5th the one year anniversary of me running away, and I haven't finished my homework and i'm falling behind in school :/ but oh well (even though I should care) but I'm also going back to the place I stayed for the night, for a little bit, and I'm going to carve my name in the play ground equipment they have there (yes, I know it's vandalizim, but people write stuff on benches etc all the time) I'm also writing a poem which I still have to finish and I'm also going to stay up all night on the 5th to the 6th to bring back the memory, because I didn't get any sleep last year. But of course with me stay up all night it will be different because I'll be indoors as opposed to outdoors last year, but nonetheless it is to revisit the situation in my life, as it was both liberating and frightening at the same time. And also me and Jessica, the girl that helped me that night, we're friends again and it's as if we never stopped being friends, we picked up right were we left off, which is good [Smile] and I got a job offer at a pie place in town, and I have an interview on Saturday [Smile] Finally after months of job searching, it's paid off! And also Saturday is prom! I'm going, sadly, by myself, because Allison can't go anymore cause she never bought her ticket :/ but I recently told another girl, Kayla that I think she's beautiful and that I'd date her if given the opportunity on a website called Formspring, but I don't think she'll like be, even though I hope she does, but love's just always been really tough. But I have to go now. Once again thanks for all that you do! [Smile]

[ 05-04-2011, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: peterg ]

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peterg
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(in addition to previous post) Well I just got home from visiting the playground I stayed at last year. And I didn't actually go into the area as there were kids there playing basketball game, and I didn't want to seem awkward.

Today I asked Kayla to prom, via a written note, and I have no response yet :/ I just hope I didn't frighten her...

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peterg
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(in response to previous two postings) well I got a response from Kayla, and it's a no, which doesn't surprise me, I was expecting it to be like that anyhow, but she likes some one, of course, and she's going to prom with her friends and ya, but I'll still go to prom but I just think prom's more worth it if you have a date, ya know? Well that's all I wanted to say I guess. Thanks [Smile]

[ 05-06-2011, 02:26 AM: Message edited by: peterg ]

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peterg
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man, it's been a long time since i've been on here, but I did finally get a job, at a construction company maintaining the company's grounds, but it's hard work, cause I have to pull weeds, and other yard work, and I work 5 days a week, for about 8 hours each day! but I really don't like my job as the only thing my boss does is yell at me, so today I went out looking for another, replacement job, and if I can get a new job, I'll most likely quit my current job. but that's all that's new with me. not much but whatever. lol
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peterg
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it's been a long time since i've been on here, well. here's what's new, I worked 2 jobs over the summer, and I made enough money to buy a car, and I'm 18.

so yesterday, last night, I ran away again, and this time I went to Lizzy's (my ex girlfriend's) house. I just needed a break from it all, so i decided to go out there. here's the reason why:

well, I'm just over stressed from work, I work 5 days a week, school, I'm failing 2 classes, Algebra 2 and Physics and my teachers won't help me really, home life, my parents aren't sleeping together for like the past 4-6 weeks if not more, I don't have any time to do homework, or hangout with friends, my senior project, a project in community service, that seniors have to complete in order to graduate, and it was due in September but I just don't know what to do and i don't have the time. and college I still don't know where I want to go, and my parents think they can control me, I'm 18, I'm an adult, I think I can take care of myself. also my parents to away my Ipod, which I need for my daily vlogging, a video blog. and now they're threatening to take my car away, but it's mine, I paid for it. but it's just all too stressful for me, so I had to get away for a bit.

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Saffron Raymie
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Welcome back, I'm sorry things are so tough right now.

Have you looked into moving out at all, now that you're eighteen?

--------------------
'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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peterg
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Yes, I have considered moving out, I had plans to over the summer, but that fell through. But i don't think I can move out, even though i'd like to, because, I only make minimum wage of $7.25 at work, washing dishes and making appitizers, and I've only worked there since July, so I think it's best not asking for a raise. I could move in with my co-worker, caleb, but he's like 40 and acts like a 10 year old. And I don't want to be a student, worker, and "babysitter" if I move in with him. Also, his last roommate was his mom, she actually moved out on him, instead of ther other way around, like it usually is.
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