I had a boyfriend for two years and we recently ended things. Since then, I had met someone else and we are currently dating. We're exclusive to each other and I told him that I do not wish to have sex with him anytime soon. He openly accepted my decision because he's a virgin and he figures if he's waited for 17 years, why not wait a little longer? And I'm so grateful for his respect for my wishes.
However, the two main reasons I've decided not to have have sex are because I don't want a relationship that's all about sex and, since my last boyfriend, I feel dirty. Everyone tells me I shouldn't because having sex with somebody I've been dating for 2 years is okay. But, we broke up a few times and he had protected sex with two other girls. I'm pretty sure I have no STDs and during my pap smear, my doctor tests the swab for chlamydia as well. And I'm sure I would have noticed if I had crabs, sores or anything.
But anyway, I just feel dirty. And I feel like my boyfriend deserves someone better than me and a virgin, like him. Being with him almost makes me feel guilty for having sex. When everyone, including my mother, tells me that I shouldn't feel dirty. What is wrong with me?
Posts: 25 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2010
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Well, you've talked in a previous post about "giving in" to your boyfriend when it came to sex, and also not feeling good about your two previous sexual partnerships.
So, first things first: it sounds to me like so far in your sexual life you may not have had sex when it's what YOU really wanted and felt good about. Do you think that's true?
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