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Author Topic: First Kiss
iAnastasia
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I am almost 18 years old. Everyone I know has had their first kiss already, everyone but me. I feel embarrassed at the fact. I told one of my friends a few hours ago that i've never been kissed before. She told me that the next time we meet, she'd like to give me my first kiss. In a way i'm excited but in a way, i'm not. I really want to experience my first kiss and I feel like i'm more than ready. The thing is though, I always imagined my first kiss being with someone that I really love and for it to be really special. But I feel so pressured into doing this for the fear of never finding love.

Should I tell her that this isn't the right thing? Or should I go ahead and do this?

Posts: 34 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JadedMelody
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First of all, you should know that its absolutely 100% ok to have not had a first kiss at whatever age. It doesn't make you weird or strange, or set you apart from anyone else in a bad way. It isn't something to be embarassed of at all.

When it all comes down to it, the only one who can decide is you.

It seems to me like you really would like to be in a relationship, have a close romantic bond, be in love or the like when you first kiss someone. If this is what you want there is no harm in waiting for that to happen. In fact, if it is what you want, you might be happier and better off waiting. And there is nothing, let me repeat; nothing wrong with that.

Now, no one should ever pressure you into making any decision, sexual or otherwise. I'm not sure if you feel pressured by your friend, pressured by all of your friends, or jsut pressured by the fact that society seems to have certain 'rules' about first kisses, first times, etc.

If it is your friends, especially the friend in question, you might want to consider sitting her/them down and talking to them about how you feel pressured and how you feel that it is your choice what you do. There is a chance they don't even know that they are pressuring you (if they are).

But there really is no pressure. If you choose not to have your first kiss now it absolutely does not mean you will never find love. It doesn't make you any lesser person. Think of it this way; People who get sexually active "too young" for societies standards are often called sluts. And you feel like you're "too old" and should have kissed someone already.

Society has plenty of standards that are, frankly, entirely bogus. The only person who can decide what you are and are not ready for, or do and do not want to do, is you. Nobody else knows you better than you.

Once again its your choice. Whatever you decide upon, it should not be because you feel pressured to choose that option. Do what feels right to you, what you can live with and what you won't regret. Because lets be honest, in the long run, who really wants to live their life based on how someone else thinks they should or based on someone else lives their own life?

I do hope I helped, and I'm sorry its so long. I wish you well and hope this works out for you [Smile]

Posts: 8 | From: Canada | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kara Zor-El
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quote:
Originally posted by iAnastasia:
The thing is though, I always imagined my first kiss being with someone that I really love and for it to be really special.

If that is what you want, then that is what you should continue to aspire to. I would like to caution you, however, against overly romanticising this because you may be putting too much pressure on yourself and psyching yourself out when faced with potentially kiss-worthy partners. The person you choose to have this experience with should be someone you trust and the circumstances should be pressure-free. I know, it's seductive and exciting to be told by someone that they want to kiss you, but that doesn't make you obliged to them. If you're having reservations about kissing this other girl, then you should communicate that to her before it impacts too much on your friendship. Remember, this would be YOUR first kiss...not hers. You own this moment and the choice is completely yours to make.

Good luck, hon...
Kara

--------------------
"If you're going through Hell, keep going..."
- Winston Churchill

Posts: 123 | From: New York City | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nessa13
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I'm 19, haven't been kissed, and don't really care. I, too, am waiting for someone special. At first it bothered me, but now I just realize that me not kissing someone only affects ME, so I should be the one to call the shots, based on what feels right for me. And, to me, it doesn't matter if it's my first kiss or fiftieth, I'd want it to be with someone I have feelings for. Other people don't care who they kiss, and that's fine, too. Whatever you feel is right for you is what you should go with. =)
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Elle689
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I didn't have my first kiss until i was 19. It's perfectly normal! I'm 21 now and am in a loving romantic relationship. Everyone experiences things at different times, so only do things you feel comfortable with and when you feel ready [Smile]
Posts: 29 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cian
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It's completely alright to not have kissed by 18, or just about any other age really. If you want to save it for someone special, do so. If you just want to get it over with, get it over with.
No big deal, really. It's your life and your choice. Many of my friends had their first kisses with other friends at parties and it hasn't made their lives any worse. My not kissing anyone until 21 didn't make my life any worse.
In the end, it's not the be all end all of life. [Smile]

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mizchastain
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I'm two weeks away from turning 21 and still haven't had mine. Even though I have no real interest in ever doing so, it's kind of hard not to feel like an old maid sometimes.
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Animica
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I had my first kiss at 19, like other posters, and not having done it before that age didn't make my life any different than it would've been if I had been kissed. My boyfriend had it way before that, and it wasn't that big a deal either, according to him. So, also like others said, if you want to wait for it, then wait. There's nothing wrong with that. If you really want to know what it's like, regardless of the person who you kiss, then do it. Either option is fine, really.
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saff
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It's really nothing special by itself (if you think about it, just two pieces of skin meeting), so it's important for it to be with someone you really care about and love. [Smile]
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orca
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quote:
Originally posted by saff:
It's really nothing special by itself (if you think about it, just two pieces of skin meeting), so it's important for it to be with someone you really care about and love. [Smile]

If you want it to be, then it's important. But not everyone places that significance on a first kiss, nor should everyone place any certain value on it unless they want to. To each their own, yeah?

--------------------
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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