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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My best friend, Stanley*

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Author Topic: My best friend, Stanley*
Member # 48638

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*Not his real name, but I'll use it to help flesh him out for you.

Stan is a brilliant young man. He doesn't always pick up on social cues, so he's quirky, but he's also the most patient, kind, easygoing person I've ever met. Like me, he is academically driven and musically talented. He is logical and enjoys calculus as well as spatial activites (like Legos, K'nex, even tinkertoys) and wants to be an engineer. I've read that these are common interests for the masculine thinker. I am his reverse: I can do math, but am most passionate about the humanities, especially writing. We have opposite taste in almost everything- he's logical, I'm emotional; he likes math, I like English, and so on.

Stan and I have a rich, colorful friendship- we each have everything to offer the other. He likes my moodiness (probably because he can't relate to it) and is comfortable talking to me about everything under the sun, including his sexual feelings, masturbation, etc. He never discusses these things among other people; he's a virgin, like me, and he's sheepish.

As you may have guessed, Stan has half my heart. He has been the most important person in my world for three years now, and I'm intensely attracted to him. No good feeling has ever been so constant. The issue is that he doesn't feel the same.

He knows how I feel. It doesn't make our friendship awkward; if anything, I think it makes it even better. But it hurts, too. I asked him what was wrong with me- his reply was that I was smart, hardworking, and deep, and that all of those qualities were turn-offs for him. He isn't really attached to the idea of love; he just wants a nice, shallow girl for a responsibility-free relationship. He says it's probable that he'll like his girlfriend (when he gets one) less than he likes me.

I am wondering, then, if it's common for young men to be turned off by smart, "real" (in Stan's words) girls. I take care not to bring any emotional baggage to the table when he and I spend time together, but we do have an honest and tender relationship. Are fun, carefree flings generally more appealing to this type of guy? Is there anything more I can do?

Out of everyone I've ever met, no one has come close to such a perfect fit for me. I consider myself lucky to have found him.


Posts: 69 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48638

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I'm sad.
Can someone please give me their thoughts? [Confused]


Posts: 69 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Hey luanne,
I'm sorry you had to wait so long for a response. Crushes are always so tough, especially when you care about them so much and they don't feel the same way. Can I ask if he really said he wants a "nice, shallow girl for a responsibility-free relationship" or if that is your interpretation of what he wants?

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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