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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I JUST WANT IT 2 BE OVER...HELP PLEASE!!!

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Author Topic: I JUST WANT IT 2 BE OVER...HELP PLEASE!!!
smalltowngirl
Neophyte
Member # 46811

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Well, I got back with my toxic boyfriend of 1 1/2 years two months ago. I still believe he is cheating on me...well I know he is. Last time he played it off like he didn't know who she was. I saw her facebook and she has his last name as hers, and I read something he wrote about his situation with me and her. People have seen him with her. But I never told him I knew
all this. I am seriously fed up with him. When we spend time together, he is always looking at his phone and having his screen down where I can't see it and he always says he is going to bed at an early time but I know he isn't. This last time we spent time together I felt like I was forcing myself to continue with this relationship. I just feel like he is holding on because he doesn't want to see me with anyone else since he was my first.Now I don't feel like I love him I just have a bunch hatred towards him. But I really just want to officially break-up for good. I don't know how to do that though. I'd rather sit down to confront and break-up with him rather than break-up over text message but I don't think I have the guts to do it. WHAT DO I DO????

[ 07-09-2010, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: smalltowngirl ]

Posts: 28 | From: mississippi | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Animica
Activist
Member # 44734

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I'd definitely say this isn't a good relationship. There is no open communication between you (he's cheating AND hiding stuff from you).

You say "he is holding on because he doesn't want to see me with anyone". He can't really expect you to stay with him just because you were "his first." It sounds like he's being possessive, which is not a good sign in a relationship, or ever. First-time relationships or intercourse in no way tie you to anyone. You are free to make your own decisions based on what you feel is better for you.

I would suggest having a serious talk with him about all the things that have been bothering you. If you want to break up for good, do it person. It isn't really a good idea to break up over text messages. Also, do it on neutral grounds, like a café, or the the park. It's best like this I believe, because each person can go their own way, and it's maybe safer. Select a date and a location, and ask him to meet you there. Think about what you want to say, and be honest about it when you do say it. Remember to use "I" statements and not "you" statements, which may seem accusing and offensive. Make your boundaries clear. For example, if you want to avoid contact with him for a set amount of time, say so. The clearer everything is, the easier it is to avoid misunderstandings later.

Best wishes. [Smile]

[ 07-09-2010, 09:28 PM: Message edited by: I.am.a.person ]

Posts: 132 | From: La La Land | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JordanGM
Neophyte
Member # 47733

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You aren't being treated right, you seem to deserve a lot better. There isn't really a reason to stay with this guy from what you've posted.

Just think about what kind of relationship you want and what you'd like to see in a guy, then you might realise even more that the guy you're with now doesn't meet your expectations. Good luck!

I.am.a.person I read your name as Lama Person [Razz]

Posts: 20 | From: Ontario | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smalltowngirl
Neophyte
Member # 46811

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Thanks a lot. Y'all advice was very helpful. Even though it may take a long time to get over it, I know it is just best to let go. Again thanks so much [Smile]

[ 07-20-2010, 06:25 PM: Message edited by: smalltowngirl ]

Posts: 28 | From: mississippi | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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