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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Am I being a desperate fool?

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Author Topic: Am I being a desperate fool?
timtam
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Member # 36972

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This is probably a non-issue, but I thought Iíd ask anyway because Iím wasting too much time thinking about it.

I broke up with my first boyfriend about 6 months ago, and moved to another town. Since then, Iíve had a few random hook ups, often just kissing when I go out dancing. None of these have resulted in anything more, which is fine.

A couple of days ago, I met a guy when I was out dancing. We started dancing, we got on well, we kissed. We exchanged numbers. I didnít hear back from him that night, so I sent him a message the next day (yesterday) saying sorry I didnít get to catch up with him again last night, that I had a great night, and I hope he did too. I havenít received a reply, and itís been over 24 hours.

At this stage, I know that I should probably just let it go. Itís not like it hasnít happened to me before. The only thing is, I liked him a lot. In addition, heís from my home town, and has gone back there. Coincidentally, Iíll be home next week.

My question is Ė should I send him one last text in day or two, asking if he wants to meet up for coffee or a drink when Iím home next week? The way I see it, if he doesnít reply or says no, itís no skin off my nose and I can forget about it. Iíll probably never see him again anyway. But at least I can say I tried, right? I guess Iím just looking for someone to tell me Iím not being a desperate fool.

Opinions welcome [Smile]

Posts: 19 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elle689
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I'd say if he hasn't replied to your text message my the time you head back to your hometown, he may not reply to the one you send about catching up. But why not send it anyway? You say you got on well and really liked him, so it's worth a shot. I would if i was in your position.
I also broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago and am going through the single stage again. Hooking up with guys at clubs can be fun but it wears off pretty quickly, so if you actually found someone you clicked with i say go for it [Smile] I'm at a point where i feel ready for a relationship again, but the only guys i'm meeting are guys at clubs. So i can definitely relate to wanting to hold onto someone that showed potential [Smile]

Posts: 29 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jubie
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There's nothing to lose. [Wink] Give him a few days before texting him though. Maybe say 3-5 days before you visit home again. He may have left his phone charger somewhere, and his phone died, and he hasn't had the chance to recharge it... or something. Guys don't check their phones as often as we girls do. Haha. Good luck.
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orca
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Honestly, I don't believe in playing games, and I don't waste time on people who do. If I give my number to a guy, he texts or calls the same day. If he doesn't, then I know he's either a) not that interested, b) playing games, or c) seeing other people (which is cool, since I do that too, but it also means that I'm lower on the totem pole than those other people since he's taking his time to get to me, so he is lower on my totem pole too). So it's sort of up to you here if you want to play his game and/or if you're okay with being a bit lower on that totem pole. I would suggest just being really casual/relaxed about it though.

As for this statement: "Guys don't check their phones as often as we girls do." That's both sexist and untrue. Different people have different phone habits, but I will say that most of the guys I know, especially the ones in the dating scene and the ones with smartphones, DO keep their phones close by, sometimes even closer than I do (and I have to keep mine by me on some days for work).

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timtam
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Thanks for the advice, guys. Clearly the trick is to not mind too much what happens. I don't really see the point in playing games either - I wanted to see him again and I said so. I did end up sending a very casual message and he did reply, and we're meeting up next week.
Posts: 19 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mma
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Well, there you have it... that sounds like a grand place to start off. I hope you have a splendid time! [Big Grin]

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Posts: 116 | From: Texas | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elle689
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That's good to hear timtam, good luck!
Posts: 29 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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