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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Impossible situation? HELP!

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Author Topic: Impossible situation? HELP!
Member # 31269

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I gotta start from the beginning, sorry if i ramble a little.

About a year ago a girl who i was great friends with told me she liked me a lot. I couldnt lie to her, at that point i was kind of seeing someone else. I told her the truth, that i was happy with my gf at that time but i did like her a lot (as a friend however.)

However over time i did develop some feelings for her, but i never acted on them. I kind of suppressed them. My relationship with my ex ended quite suddenly in December. (You can see in past posts). To be honest i havent looked back since then. Yeah i will admit, i do have a problem with trust now. I cant help it. I've become quite distant with girls, not really wanting to get involved. Until now really ...

During my relationship with my ex the girl who liked me found a boyfriend, being one of my friends. I'll call her Rachel from now on, and her bf Greg.

Me and Greg have been through a lot. We have been great friends for several years. Due to myself pursuing other intrests and making new friends, me and Greg dont talk as much or would consider ourselves "great" friends. Nonetheless we are still friends.

Over time me and Rachel stopped talking as much, probably due to us being too busy with our relationships. However we did speak occasionally, and i felt guilty as i had feelings for her. I felt quite guilty when i was around Greg.

About a week ago my school had our senior prom and me and my friend Paul (also a friend of Rachels) decided to go around several of the dinner tables speaking to our school mates, probably for the last time. We soon came across Rachel and we spoke for a while. Rachel then revealed that Greg had been acting weird around her for a few days and hadnt spoke to her all night. It was our freaking prom! Things werent really looking good for them and things got even worse at the after party. They ended up breaking up in front of everyone. Rachel left early, my friend Paul walked her home to comfort her. I spoke with Greg for a while asking if he was okay, the usual stuff. I asked why they broke up and he said he didnt feel the same and he was going through a lot in his family. I could relate to him, i have had a lot of trouble within my family and found it hard to maintain a relationship while under stress. I felt extremely guilty at this point, but i really wanted to be there for the guy.

Later on in the night, well morning, i drunkenly revealed my feelings for Rachel to Paul. He said that i should tell her, maybe not right away due to the situation.

After walking some of my friends home, i returned home, drunk and tired. I then sent Rachel a private message over Bebo spilling the beans. In no way am i saying being drunk was an excuse, it never is in my opinion.

I awoke the next morning and instantly regretted what i had done. I felt as if i had betrayed Greg and possibly made Rachel feel worse. I ended up staying of Bebo all day, not wanting to see her response.

After about 12 hours i plucked up the courage and read what she had said. In the end what she said was not bad in the slightest. She said that maybe in the future she would want a relationship with me, and at the present would like to keep talking to each other. She also revealed that it did not look like Greg or her would get back together. I responded saying that i did not want to get in their way whatsoever. Too late i guess. She said that throughout this situation ill be on her mind whenever she makes decisions. Also she thanked me for telling her saying that it made her feel a lot better and even made her smile, even after what she had been through. It was a good response but i didnt know where to go from there.

As of then we have texted a lot, nothing to do with what was said. Just the usual friendly stuff. Its nice.

However it gets even trickier.

I have lately (before prom) been introduced to a girl i'll call Leanne. She had seen my bebo and facebook and said she would like to meet me. She is the best friend of my best friend Eliotts girlfriend. I have met her twice, and we hit it off quite quicklu. Shes a really nice girl and yeah i quite like her.

But with everything else going on, i have no idea what to do. I dont wanna string Leanne along, but i dont wanna give up on Rachel. I know i need to make a choice. But it seems like im gonna lose something no matter what choice i make!

I know this is reeeaallllly long! I really would appreciate any help [Frown] x

Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Love to love
Member # 45991

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I personally would go for whomever I feel like I have the better connection with, or like more. You also have to consider what you told Rachel, you told her you liked her, knowing that in the past she liked you, (and usually your feelings start to show up for that person again if you talk to them more) But if you decide you like Leanne more or have a better connection, tell Rachel right away but tell her you'll still be there for her or whatever.
Posts: 115 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 47565

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I dont want to sound harsh, but give up on rachel. Keep her as a close friend, but if it's been a while and she hasn't even brought it up. Then she might not ever want to try it with you
Posts: 78 | From: Louisiana | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31269

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Thanks for the replies [Smile]

Well Rachel did say that she wanted to talk to me more often and see what happened. In no way did she say that she never ever wanted a relationship with me. She said the opposite really however she said that she would like to wait for now due to her splitting up with Greg. I totally understand and repect that, hence why iam backing off a little bit and letting her get on with her life without me swarming her. Maybe its a bad idea leaving things just now, I dunno ...

Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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