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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Is It Wrong For a 14 Yr Old Girl To Date 23 Yr Old Cousin?

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Author Topic: Is It Wrong For a 14 Yr Old Girl To Date 23 Yr Old Cousin?
soconfusedxo
Neophyte
Member # 46355

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Yeah, so I'm guessing it is.
Well, I'm a fourteen year old female, my cousin is a 23 year old male. I have always had the biggest crush on him, and I want to date him really bad. He most likely isn't into me. For one, I'm 9 years younger, and second, I'm his cousin. But we are super close! I just don't know if he likes me "in that way" or not. If he does, is it really so wrong for us to go out? Thanks!

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soconfusedxo

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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For the most part, whether or not romantic or sexual relationships between cousins is considered acceptable is a matter of personal opinion.

However, dating or sex within families often has the potential to create problems for families as a whole, and when someone is related to some else, it can often make it tougher to do things like leave a relationship that's not working out well or that isn't healthy. On top of that, that kind of age difference already presents a big power imbalance, especially when one person 9the legal adult) has legal rights and freedoms the other (a minor) does not. On top of all of that, age of consent laws would likely also come into play.

That all given, it's a scenario very unlikely to be something that would work well, and where at least one person in that scenario would usually have the judgment to realize would probably spell disaster, even if both did share those feelings.

You made another post tonight talking about lots of feelings of confusion around your sexual orientation: perhaps between those feelings and these, you can recognize that now probably isn't the best time for you to be pursing relationships as it is, let alone those which, at best, would be extraordinarily complicated, and may result in severing a close family relationship it sounds like you value very much?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
heatherr
Neophyte
Member # 46398

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you havent seen the world yet. you most likely feel inside that he is cute and older. which can be a turn on. and because of the age difference, its harder to see that it is wrong because you guys didnt grow up together and your not thinking "eww thats my cousin". dont act on your feelings...you'll get over it eventually and save alot of drama or weird feelings. soon you'll find someone you like thats around your age.
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Ronlak111
Neophyte
Member # 46402

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I think this situation can put you in very embarassing situation. It not quite age difference but also relation does matter. He is your cousin so avoid get more deep and fing other partner who can understand you and match with your age.

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Rons

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robot_on_fire
Activist
Member # 45735

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i had a situation like this before at that same age.

Looking back im GLAD i never told him how i felt.

though i had those feelings for some time, they did fade away. I realized it was just a harmless crush , that would have created MANY complications if i did pursue it.

Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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