Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Missing intimacy .. HELP

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Missing intimacy .. HELP
Member # 45830

Icon 9 posted      Profile for mmmChocolate     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 months, I love him. We have a great relationship. He's caring, sweet, funny, smart and always makes me happy. We have an active sex life, but also have a lot in common.

Lately, I feel like he wants to have sex way more than me (I'm convinced this is due to his astrological sign LOL, he's a Scorpio). All I want to do is cuddle and talk, in the beginning of the relationship, I was on his sexual level. Now, I just kind of miss the intimacy we had in the beginning. He doesn't pressure me or anything, he's just always more hornier than me. He's always trying to grope at my boobs or butt in a playful way, but I find it demeaning. And I just texted him saying how I wish I was with him and he texted back, "Yup, so I can squeeze your *** [Smile] "

It just makes me sad that it's all he thinks or cares about. I don't want him to think I'm a prude or boring, but I want this to stop. How can I bring it up without hurting his feelings?


Posts: 110 | From: The West Coast | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it's helpful to recognize that a partner who loves you and cares for you would be MORE hurt if he continued to hurt you and make you sad without knowing it than h/she would to hear that what they're doing is hurting you, you know?

We have to be honest if we want relationships of quality. So long as you express yourself about this in ways that are kind and compassionate -- no name-calling, lots of "I" statements, such as "I need more non-sexual intimacy" or "I need you to respect my personal boundaries more than you are lately" -- you don't need to worry about hurting his feelings. Talking about these kinds of things and being honest is what builds a really good relationship, not avoiding them.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37752

Icon 1 posted      Profile for EliotDorian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have you told him that it's emotional intimacy that you miss? If you did, was he receptive or was he dismissive?
And does he treat you with respect in non-sexual settings? Are crude comments right in line with the way he talks to you in non-sexual situations or do you normally feel respected but it's only in this emotional versus physical intimacy arena where he makes you feel less than supported?
Just worth thinking about for now. I'm sorry he's less than sensitive to your needs. [Frown]

"What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if no one asks to see 'em?"

Posts: 87 | From: Virginia | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 46402

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ronlak111     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think you have to talk with your bofriend that you miss the intimacy. IT you can talk with hem then he can find some solution about the matter. You have to convince that what exact want to need. This can help to resolve the problem.


Posts: 31 | From: India | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3