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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do I explain that I don't like oral all that much?

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Author Topic: How do I explain that I don't like oral all that much?
Member # 45140

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So this is probably kind of abnormal, but I'm not really big on guys giving me oral sex.

I'll be 20 years old in a month, I've had three partners in the 4ish years since I've been sexually active, and two of them, including my current one, have given me oral. The first one, my boyfriend who I lost my virginity to and vice versa, was, to be totally honest, not incredibly great at it. It was probably because we were both inexperienced about our own sexual needs and because, looking back on it, we weren't as comfortable discussing sexual needs.

My current boyfriend, on the other hand, is very easy to talk to and have discussions with about our sex life, and loves giving me oral. He's definitely a lot better at it than my first boyfriend, but the problem is...I don't like it that much, and I'm not sure why.

I mean, it feels great and all, but I very, very rarely orgasm from it (probably only about twice in the year and a bit we've been sleeping together), even when he stimulates my clitoris and so on. I have much more intense and frequent orgasms through either fingering or a combination of sex and fingering.

I really want to like it more, so I can experience stronger orgasms through it, but also because I know my boyfriend loves giving me oral sex so much. I feel bad that I don't enjoy it very often - I want him to feel satisfied that I'm satisfied, y'know? Plus, I really want to be open to new experiences and enjoy it as much as I do our other sexual activities.

So sorry for the ramble, but all in all, my question is how do I make myself feel more comfortable with oral sex and enjoy it more, and how do I tell my boyfriend I just don't particularly like it without making him feel like a crappy lover?

Posts: 8 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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The thing is that we all don't like all sexual activities all of the time. We're all individual human beings with our own unique likes and dislikes.

So receptive oral sex isn't something that you're into right now. That's totally fine, there is nothing wrong with this at all, and there is no need to teach yourself to 'like it more' if you're just not interested in it right now. There's also no reason for your partner to feel offended by this, since this is about YOU, and not about him.

Maybe this article will help you start the conversation:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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