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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » To anyone who has had to deal with being alone

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Author Topic: To anyone who has had to deal with being alone
paper towel
Member # 39124

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These are the following ways in which my situation sucks right now:

1. This is the first fall after high school for me and all my friends have moved to the city

2. My boyfriend moved to Colorado a few days ago; I am going to move there and live with him in a month

3. My job is AWFUL, largely due to my boss, and on top of that I am not getting nearly as many hours as I was promised

4. Because of the lack of hours, I can no longer afford the weekly trips to Portland I've been making and in fact, am going to have a hard time scraping up the necessary loot for Colorado

5. My mom is literally crazy, like diagnosed by a doctor crazy and being around her is really difficult for me... and I live at home

So, basically, my problem boils down to being really lonely for a month. I mean, I consider myself an introvert, but not a hermit! I was thinking about doing lots of little sewing projects, maybe cross-stitching a "home sweet home" wall hanging for our new apartment [Big Grin] My question to all the good people at scarleteen: how do you handle being lonely without going crazy? Hobbies? Volunteer work? Bubble baths?

Oh, and sorry for using the earlier part of my post to vent my frustrations...

Posts: 52 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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I actually tend to really like being alone and having a lot of time to myself.

I think that for me, that's because I have a lot of creative interests, and doing any kind of art tends to require a lot of alone time. When I do get lucky and have time to myself when I don't have to be working, I often will head to one of my arts, be that spending hours at the piano, or digging into a visual art or writing project. Cooking, baking and working in my garden are other creative things I like to do with my time alone.

Another face thing of mine to do alone is to vegetate in a way that might not be so welcomed with others. For instance, being alone can allow for watching entire seasons of Buffy in one day or night! Alternately, I also can get away with spending a whole day out and about on my bike, stopping where I want for a lunch, what have you.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 41657

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Marathoning a whole season of a TV show in one day is one of the joys of alone time, I think after I finish my chores this evening I shall sit and watch The Hakkenden: Legend of the Dog Warriors. Other stuff I do when I have some time alone is read (I have swathes of manga and some feminist and Richard Dawkins books to work through at the moment), listen to music, draw, sing, dance, practise the guitar, revise for any upcoming tests, learn Japanese, eat, take long showers, masturbate (the last two things sometimes happen together [Big Grin] ), or maybe go out for the day and browse in the shops if I have the money or sufficient resolve not to buy anything, perhaps sit in the park and watch the dogs, wonder around neighbourhoods looking for friendly cats.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 40417

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When I used to be alone all the time (so back when I didn't have friends - I am not in any way saying this didn't make me immensely weird), I read. I read a lot of Huxley (hence the screenname) in particular, and a lot of poetry. I also used to lie on my back and listen to records. And now I have friends but I still hugely like being alone in libraries. And indeed, walking through town alone.

If you can't take your mother for very long, I suggest libraries or very cheap cafes with books. Sitting and reading out of the house is always the answer. As might be National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo - it's a nice, clear, month long project to get on with), although you'd have some catching up to do...

Also, surely you can call your friends? - There's always skype-to-skype if funds are tight. My best friend and I have been in different cities for some time now - calling (often, in our case) is the answer.

Posts: 35 | From: London/Oxford, UK | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
paper towel
Member # 39124

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Oh yeah, I'm definitely catching up on my reading. And I've got a sewing project, lots of stuff to do before the big move, and I'm getting closer with my brother. I'm feeling better about it now, I was just real sad when I wrote that. And another thing- it's not the end of the world to be a little sad for a couple of weeks, y'know? Thanks for responding everyone! And my gentleman friend just texted me now so I'll be a-swoon for the next hour anyway.
Posts: 52 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38698

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It sounds to me like you could turn this around to positive feelings--you have one month to yourself in which you get to prepare for a big, fun transition in your life! You can make little housewarming crafts, plan routines, daydream about what it will be like in the new place, and mentally stick your tongue out to your boss every day knowing your days there are numbered. And, as you said, when you are feeling sad, at least you know that has a time limit on it too.

AND, you can always come on here and talk to US when you're lonely! [Big Grin]

Posts: 96 | From: West Coast USA | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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