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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I'm crushing on a guy ... a guy who is not my boyfriend.

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Author Topic: I'm crushing on a guy ... a guy who is not my boyfriend.
Member # 36232

Icon 11 posted      Profile for Nutu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This would not be a problem except for the fact that I feel very guilty about it.

The fascination I have with the other guy does not worry me in the sense that I that can't choose, or that I fear I might like him more. It just makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong by being as attracted to him as I am when I am already in a serious relationship with someone I love.

We (the other guy and I) are taking an intro to acting course together. He is very quirky and talented and good looking in an unconventional sort of way, a bit like my boyfriend. We have spoken a few times and I feel drawn to him, as well as very sexually attracted to him. This makes me feel like I'm being dishonest with my boyfriend, almost like I'm mentally cheating. I feel like if I could talk to my boyfriend about it, confess if you will, I might be more at ease, but I'm not sure how he'll take it. Normally the lines of communication are very open, but he has been very stressed and things are just a tiny bit bumpy between us lately. I don't want him get the wrong idea and take as a sign that we shouldn't be together or anything like that.

So, I guess my questions are: is this normal, these weird attractions? I mean, does this happen to other people a lot? Should I let my boyfriend know? If so, how can I go about it in a way that is sensitive?

Posts: 21 | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35635

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Disenchanted88     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What you are feeling happens all the time. You developed a crush on someone else, its normal for a lot of people to devlop crushes even when with someone else, you get a rush of feelings but most of the time they go away.
If you feel this is a big problem for you then talk to your boyfriend about it, just make sure you make it clear you dont want anything to happen with this other guy and that you love him, if that is the case.
You are not cheating on him unless you have done something with the other guy. I wouldnt get too worried about it, but the choice is yours.

Posts: 26 | From: Wales | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 42242

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You havn't cheated and from what you've said in your post it dosn't sound to me like your planning to.

It's not a sin to like someone when your not single and you shouldn't be beating yourself up over it. You havn't cheated and you should be proud of yourself for resisiting the temptation and really showing your love for your boyfriend.

I've made many mistakes with cheating in the past. Something I'm deffinetly not proud of. But I understand that it's not always easy and is sometimes very hard to walk away even when you love the person your with and don't want to hurt them.

You should be proud of yourself. Being faithful to your partner is sometimes easier said then done. But you did the right thing and your boyfriends lucky to have you.

Being with all the girls in the world dosn't make you a man. Makin one girl feel like she is the world, well, that does.

Posts: 145 | From: Planet Earth | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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