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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Confusing dreams and exes [kinda long]

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Author Topic: Confusing dreams and exes [kinda long]
Member # 35615

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Let me start off by saying that I know the human mind is very...strange and often unfathomable, especially dreams and their causes, etc. That being said, I'm getting really confused by a situation of mine.

My ex and I went out for about 5 months before we broke up. It got to the point where it seemed like we were fighting every day, starting with something small and stupid and pointless and ending up with a massive argument. Finally, I kinda snapped and just wanted to be done with it all; the pain, anger, and drama were just driving me crazy. He didn't want to break up, but I was adamant. I wanted out, but I still wanted to be good friends with him. I really thought that things would be nearly the same, with us hanging out together and staying friends, just without the romantic aspect and everything that brings.

Sadly, that's not how things went. Neither of us talked to each other or even looked at each other. I felt all this pent-up anger and sadness, some directed at him, and some not really directed at anything. I think I was too ashamed to talk to him, since I felt that I had no right to be hurt since it was, after all, ME who ended it. Nearly another five months later, I'm still kinda bitter, but I'm moving past it.

Just my luck that once I start getting over it a little more, I start having these weird dreams. I don't usually remember my dreams, but in the last two weeks, I've had three or four that I DO remember: and my ex is in all of them. The first three were just pretty weird dreams overall, me and my three closest friends were plotting some sort of elaborate prank or something, and he was one of the friends helping me plan. It was like nothing had changed and we really HAD stayed close. Another weird thing was that these dreams had some other guys I know and think are very good-looking in them, and they were just watching me and my friends.

The weirdest dream I had was last night. I was walking out of English class when I had to go back to get something from the classroom. I told my friends to meet me at my locker, then went back and grabbed the thing I left. I joined the crowd of students leaving the room, and, lo and behold, my ex is standing RIGHT next to me in the throng. We walked down the ramp leading out of the classroom (with me pretending that he didn't even exist and that his presence didn't bother me in the least). When we got to the end of the ramp, I rolled my eyes and sped up to get around the corner and away from him, but he grabbed my arm and faced me.
"Why won't you even LOOK at me?" he said, sounding as if someone was tearing his heart out or something. Naturally, this made me very uncomfortable and I panicked.
"...I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW SORRY BYE!" I replied in a single breath and spun around and practically ran off.

Even after I woke up, I can remember EXACTLY what his face looked like when he asked me why I wouldn't look at him. I also remember the feeling I had as I ran away from him in my dream. I felt really sad, confused, and hurt.

I know dreams might don't necessarily mean anything, I just think it's really weird that I've been having all these dreams lately. We never really addressed the breakup at all and I don't know what to do, or even what I WANT from him.

Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions/ANYTHING? I'm really freaking out right now. T_T

Sorry for ranting like a crazy person...That was kinda long.

Thanks in advance...

Posts: 19 | From: California | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35485

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Well, dreams tend to resurface undercurrants of fear or anxiety (Before school resumes after summer break, like clockwork, I always have a nightmare about forgetting to do some random major project or paper that's due the first day back!). So, this may just be that things ended on a not-so-great note and you've never been totally okay with it, like you said, and it's just resurfacing in your dreams. There's no real reason to freak out over that [Smile]

Do you feel it would be beneficial to reconnect with him on a friendship level? Or talk to a counselor? Communicating your pent-up emotions to someone may help ease the stress.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. --John Waters

Posts: 206 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35615

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Thanks for the reassurance! [Big Grin]

I'm kinda thinking I don't really want to be friends with him at all anymore. I re-read some of our old IM conversations that I saved and it brought back all the reasons I don't really like him anymore, so there goes that. I'm not sure about talking to a counselor, unless it suddenly gets a LOT worse, which I doubt. I've been telling my best friend everything about it lately, and that's helping. Thank you!

Posts: 19 | From: California | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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