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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » moving on

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Author Topic: moving on
transparentcrystal
Activist
Member # 32771

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Hey there.
Well, this post goes to everyone who would like
to make a comment.
I, just broke up with my boyfriend.
after 2 years 7 months of being a relationship,
i finally took the decition of letting go.
It took me a while and a lot of strenght to do this,
but, he wasnt treating me well, he was possesive,
very self proud, very controling,
he got to call me names such a '******* bitch'
he cheated on me twice, treated me bad infront of other ppl, and at the end, he would just say i love you (not even im sorry) and i would get back to him, because, i truly love him, i gave him my heart and he broke it apart. it was so not fair.
he would do things like, dance with other girls, but i was not allowed to dance with other guys.
at some point, he blackmailed me he would suicide if i ever broke up with him.
i was always able to face his family and he was never
able to face mine. and his excuse would be,'they dont like me anyways'. we did a long distance relatioship for almost 8 months, in which he visited me, and then i visited him last month.
the truth is, long distance relationship works when theres support, love and a lot of trust but
in this case , there were things beyond this. This was an unhealthy relationship, but i didnt want to accept it. ppl would tell me i would do so mcuh better wihtout him, but i wouldnt listen.
he was my life, my everything!! the last thing that made me take this decition was that,
3 days after i left, he went on the bar and danced with another girl, ppl took pictures of it and posted them on facebook. i confronted him and he denied it. i jst tought it was way too much, and i didnt deserve that. this happened about 3 weeks ago, and until now, just a few mins. ago, i definitly broke up with him. his last words were,
'when you get married one day, you will still think of me''. I just cant believe that,
he can be this way, tears came out of my eyes and i said to myself, no because when i get married one day will be with the right one, and he wont even have a space in my mind.
but it still hurts, to knwo it's over and that,
the plans etc eveyrthign is gonne.
but is for the best. i deserve someone who can treat me well, who makes me his queen his everything, who supports me. i dont ask for a perfect one , but yeah someone who can respect me and love me the way i deserve. I'm like this beautiful diamont, and he was treating me like garbage and at the end he would say he loved me so much. how can someone say such an strong word and still hurt you?. I guess what im trying to say here is that, this will take me a while to finally get over him, but i will because i want to, because i love myself and no guy has the right to treat me bad. i'm sorry if this is way too long but, i wanted to post this so ppl can post any sort of comments and also, this goes for all those ppl out there, that might be in the same situation as i was. Love is something really really strong , and the world would not be able to live wihtout it, BUT , when someone tells you he loves you and still you feel he's dragging you down and at the end of the day, you just want to pretend is okay and everythign will find it's own way. IT WONT. when someone REALLY loves you,
you wont even need him say it, you will realize with his actions and careness. cheers for every1 and myself too

--------------------
peace

Posts: 68 | From: China | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
QuantumInc
Neophyte
Member # 41507

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It is horrible to think that you and so many others go through this, though it is wonderful to know that you had the strength to get out of such a twisted relationship.
I cannot fully comprehend why anyone could act that way. It has been noted by experts that to people like ex-boyfriend controlling the other person is just as important as loving them. To me that seems absurd though.
I think it is possible that such abusive people end up loving their significant others not as people, but as a sort of golden idol. The hopes, dreams, fears, personal qualities, and social contacts of the significant other end up becoming irrelevant. The actual woman he professes his love to becomes an obstacle between him and his idol, so he beats her. Though that's just my idea.

You are not garbage, you are more than that.
But you are not a beautiful diamond as you say either.
You are more than that.
You are a beautiful person.

Posts: 21 | From: US West | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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