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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Ugh

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Author Topic: Ugh
Curious327
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I posted in June about my then girlfriend wanting to go out and basically fool around with other guys. Like, make out and grind with them at dances and the like. I wanted to say that this went away for a while. But it came back in AUgust, and this time she said that we were done until she could get over this feeling. It was completely out of the blue. I was heartbroken and held on to her for a couple months. This was because I didn't think she was doing anything with anyone else and she kept saying she still loved me. I stupidly believed her. After about a month or two, she comes to me and says she has lied to me, telling me that she really did do stuff with other guys while still keeping me under the feeling that we loved each other still. As she told me, she had made out with my best friend, and then on a seperate occasion, gave hiim a BJ because she was horny. Cut to now. I learn that she lied to me then too. She had kissed two other of my best friends, and gave one of those two a BJ also.

I dont know what to do. I thought I had moved past her because of all the hurt she put me through. I currently have a new girlfriend whom I am very happy around, but I still find myself having the same feelings I did before me and my ex broke up. Any suggestions? And with this, I am still trying to be friends with her, because she has shown signs of turning herself around, and I still enjoy spending time with her.

Posts: 6 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
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To put it simply, I don't think you should have those kinds of feelings for her anymore. She betrayed you, she lied, and she was doing sexual things to your friends. Personally, I would've lost my mind, but for oyu, I think you should move on from her, learn from your mistakes, and keep your eyes on your current prize, and don't let her go, because once you do, man, you'll regret it.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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I'd have to agree with Castaway.

Regardless of what people say, behavior like that which your ex-girlfriend displayed rarely just stops. It tends to be a cycle, no matter who that person is with. So I don't into any "changing" or character or behavior, personally.

While it's OK to be friends, I do think that if there is a new romantic focus in your life, give more attention to that and less to your old partner. You will probably have some feelings for her for a while, but trying to reconcile those by sticking around her isn't going to help, you know? It may be better to distance yourself completely.

(As a side note, Castaway, I know you didn't mean any harm, but your reference to the OP to keep his "eye on the current prize" is rather inappropriate. Women, or any romantic partner for that matter, are not objects. Just try and keep that in mind, OK? [Smile] )

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
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quote:
Originally posted by JamsessionVT:
I'd have to agree with Castaway.

Regardless of what people say, behavior like that which your ex-girlfriend displayed rarely just stops. It tends to be a cycle, no matter who that person is with. So I don't into any "changing" or character or behavior, personally.

While it's OK to be friends, I do think that if there is a new romantic focus in your life, give more attention to that and less to your old partner. You will probably have some feelings for her for a while, but trying to reconcile those by sticking around her isn't going to help, you know? It may be better to distance yourself completely.

(As a side note, Castaway, I know you didn't mean any harm, but your reference to the OP to keep his "eye on the current prize" is rather inappropriate. Women, or any romantic partner for that matter, are not objects. Just try and keep that in mind, OK? [Smile] )

The reason for using such is because he's basically a lucky SOB, whereas I'm not as lucky, and will hope to be as lucky, if not more lucky, anytime soon.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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(Understood, but again, the way you phrase things has a lot to do with how they sound...kind of like calling someone a "lucky SOB" makes it sound like they should be grateful and stop worrying, you know?

I'm just asking that you watch the way you use language to make a point. It can come off as demeaning, even if that's not the intention.)

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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