My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. We both love each other very much, and he is two years older than me. I'm not always mature in our relationship, and tonight I got upset because he was at a party drinking and such, which he used to do before we started dating. I get upset with him quite often, but I think it's more of a way of me getting out frustrations that don't have to do with him.
Tonight he gave me the choice of staying together or breaking up. He's exhausted with the way I've been acting, and so am I, but I don't know how to change for his sake, or, more prominently, my sake. I feel like the mature, right thing to do would be to break up with him, because he'd probably be happy. I love him, and he deserves to be happy. At the same time, I want to make things work, but I don't know if I can change for the better. I know the answer isn't black and white, and that you guys probably can't tell me what to do in the this situation...but I just want some insight. The sooner the better.
Posts: 14 | From: DC | Registered: Jul 2008
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Well, it's pretty obvious that neither of you are happy with the relationship right now.
Maturity, when it begins to interfere with a relationship, usually isn't something that's going to change by staying with someone or "sticking with it", as the saying goes...
So, at this point, I would say at least taking a break would be a very good idea. You're not going to be able to grow and mature in the ways you need to if you don't have your own space and time to do it, and the relationship isn't going to get any better until that happens.
Are these frustrations anything in particular, or are they just those things that you learn to deal with over time? (When I say this, I mean, do you have issues YOU need to deal with, such as emotional problems, etc, or are these just annoyances that you aren't quite sure how to handle, because of your age, life experience, etc...?) If they are the former, it wouldn't be a bad idea to seek some help. With the latter, those things come with time and life experience.
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