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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Weird relationship

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Author Topic: Weird relationship
Namida
Activist
Member # 28700

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A have a certain friend, and the exact nature of our realtionship is... unique. She's got a boyfriend, I've been waiting for another girl for 18 months (and finally got her 2 days ago) and since I stopped her from letting a 17 year old take advantage of her at 13 she's been coming to me when she needs to know anything about sex or sexuality (and blames me when what she does conflics with her christian ideals, even though if not for me she'd have been "taught how to finger herself" by that 17 year old and abducted by 2 web preditors).
We've known each other for 2 years, but in these last 6 months, some strange things have been said and asked. She said she WISHES she liked me because I deserve someone who'd treat me right, she asked if I liked her and I answered truthfully that 95% of the time she's just a friend, but sometimes I see her in a different light. She's really hostile to the girl I like, and fiercely jealous but she claims it's just because me liking her sometimes is a confidence booster, but it doesn't make her feel as good as if it was just her and all the time.
Does any of this make sense to anyone? Because my head's swimming

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And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Namida
Activist
Member # 28700

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*I have a certain friend, not "A have"
Stuff like that happens to me a lot, there may be more in the post

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And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It sounds to me like the two of you may simply need to create some boundaries.

In other words, you may not be a sound person at this point for her to have as her primary counsel on sex and sexuality. I'd suggest talking about that and directing her to some other sources, such as this website or others like it, some good books, an independent counselor or her doctor.

I'd also talk about her jealousy, and let her know that if you are going to be friends, she needs to accept that that is the relationship you have, and that you, like she, also have other relationships in your life which you need for her to honor, rather than view as a competition.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Namida
Activist
Member # 28700

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Don't worry, except on morallity issues I mostly just go here anyways, I've TRIED getting her to come here herself but she wont for some reason.
The councelor (not the chaplain, but the "objective" counselor) told her she was a slut and would go to hell for masturbating, and her parent's wont let her go outside on sunny days or see a doctor alone, also books are a problem because her parent's might find them, so that leaves us with me linking her articles (mostly from here), telling her she's not a slut for wanting to be sexual with her boyfriend and telling her over and over she doesn't have too look like all those other girls.
My god, how do you's manage to do it for all of us?

--------------------
And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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