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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » my first girlfriend =//

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Author Topic: my first girlfriend =//
o g kii kii
Member # 40688

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hey this is my first time using scarleteen. but my reason for writing this is cause my sophomore year @ sk00l i experienced my first girl friend. i really have n0 idea h0w this came t0 b but bef0re i knew it i was in a relationship with a female. i thought i'd never l0ve any0ne lyk i'd l0ve my first l0ve. jerry but my first girlfriend changed all that f0r me as time went by i was being played f0r tha f00l i all0wed her t0 cheat as l0ng as she kept me and ar0und finally i gave up and m0nths later after graduating and g0ing t0 c0llege she has reconfessed her l0ve f0r me and everything has been g0ing g00d. but my question is sh0uld i believe that she is truely a changed pers0n? is it possible t0 st0p being a player?

here is 0ne 0f the txt she has written me :

" you made me wh0 i am today. i am a better person because of you you opened my eyes and showed me what real love is. and that it aint all about sex its about love and making each other happy and i cant thank y0u enough "

what d0 i do?

Posts: 1 | From: dallas | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I'd be slightly suspicious of someone who all the sudden comes out, after a long period of not seeing each other, and tells you they love you. That's a little alarming.

People can change their views over time, and people also grow up and out of stages they went through when they were younger, but people themselves generally don't change. Has she matured and possibly seen the error of her ways? It's absolutely possible. But does that mean she's a totally different person. I highly doubt it. A few months is not that long.

Honestly, this is all up to you. If you feel comfortable getting back into a relationship with her, more power to you. Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone who used me and repeatedly was unfaithful to me any length of time, regardless of how much they say they've changed over time.

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 28394

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Am I right in interpreting that her sleeping with other people was actually part of your agreement:

"I allowed her to cheat as long as she kept me and around" ?

It's not necessarily a betrayal if you've agreed on that... but if you meant you "put up with it" despite agreeing otherwise rather than "allowed it", then there are the trust issues to think of; as Abbie says, only you can decide whether you still trust her and it's your emotions that will be risked. You need to ask yourself the questions she suggestedm, weigh up the risks and decide if you're prepared to take them.

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Posts: 633 | From: Bedfordshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 40788

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I am in a situation quite like yours. Not exactly...
Me and my boyfriend(josh) started dating on august 27th last year, and i ended up cheating on him(HUGE MISTAKE!) three weeks later. I'm just here to answer your question about "sh0uld i believe that she is truely a changed pers0n? is it possible t0 st0p being a player?" because, yes. it is possible.
me and josh got back together on halloween, and i haven't even thought of making the mistake of cheating on him again, and i know it will never happen.
I don't know this girl, but she could be feeling the same thing i did, or not. do whats best for YOU! if you don't see anything happening between you and her in the futur, don't get caught up in it, and if you truly don't believe she did change, don't trust her.

:}much luck!

Posts: 1 | From: sarnia | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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