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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Help! There's this big issue I have that I can't explain in just one line in a title

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Author Topic: Help! There's this big issue I have that I can't explain in just one line in a title
Independence_Day
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It works like this (I'll use fake names for internet safety and anonymity and all that good stuff):

At a church youth group activity, I was texting my guy friend, L, and he told me to go look up his two friends, P and M that he said were also there. My friend N and I went and found them. We started hanging out and when L came up the next day we hung out even more.

So I recently went to a youth activity and I met this guy. My friends and I were hanging out with some friends in other wards, and I was texting my friend (a guy, Leon). He told us to go find his two friends Jason and Don that were also at the youth conference. We found them and combined forces with Jason and one other guy to get Leon to come to youth conference. That night I discovered that Jason had an awesome sense of humor. (I really love guys with a good sense of humor. On day two, we all hung out at the lake and that afternoon Leon showed up. I found my friend, Natalie and she was hanging out with Ron, so we brought him along. We played in the water, pushed each other off of the dock, stood around and talked...all that good stuff. (We = All the people mentioned above and some other friends.) That night there was a dance and I asked Jason to dance during the last slow dance and as we danced, we talked some. He was friendly, and I decided I'd like to get to know him. Then, when the dance ended, I said thanks for the dance.

On the last day (day three), we all went out to breakfast and stood around talking and eating. My friend Natalie collected Jason and Don's numbers and took their pictures.That evening after we got home, Natalie and I went for a walk (we're pretty much best friends). She told me she liked Don and wanted to see what would come of it. I said I preferred Jason. That worked well, because if you're in competition with your friend for a guy, then it ruins the fun of it. Natalie called Don and got his email. The next day we found Don on MySpace; Jason, too.

I sent Jason a MySpace message with a jokey message something along the lines of "Hey remember me?" At first when we were emailing on MySpace he was really friendly. Then in one of my emails, I asked him when football started (since he'd told me he played), and he replied in a really chilly way. I figured he'd just been in a bad mood or something and so I wrote something cheerful back and he didn't reply. And hasn't since in the last several weeks. And he's been on, I know because I've been on it has the "Online Now" icon by his picture. I figured he just was bored talking to me or something...who knows??? So I just dismissed it and over the course of the past month I stuck a sticker or two on him and sent him a comment. Last Saturday I decided to "test the waters" and I sent him another message...and I got nothing. I figured he hated me for some unknown reason (I hadn't done anything to him that I knew of). I ended up being really upset wondering what I'd done and if I'd just imagined he'd been so friendly in person and whatnot. Finally I just decided that it was his loss and to move on. I was still struggling to actually accept this decision I'd made.

Then...this evening...I got an MySpace message from my friend Natalie that made everything crystal clear: "...B CAREFUL i was e-mailing Jason and he thinks your creepy because you send him a message a day and got his e-mail but i wrote back saying i gave you his e-mail and that yur bored out of your mind. but b careful how you play this out lol..."

After I first opened this and read it, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. My stomach was heaving and all I could think was “What the $^%#?” In shock, I signed off of MySpace and tried to pull my thoughts together. I swear I was so upset I could hardly remember to breathe. My head was spinning. I played out the thoughts in my head and then managed to pull my thoughts together long enough to lay out some basic facts.
One. I do not have Jason's email. I never have. I thought about asking him for it, but decided conversing on MySpace worked fine.
Two. This totally explains why he didn't reply to the email I sent him (and for seemingly no reason) after we'd been conversing for awhile.
Three. I have not been MySpace messaging him more than normal. Certainly not "a message a day" by ANY stretch of the imagination. All I've sent him was just what I've listed above. That's it. I swear to God. After that there were (and are!) only questions in my head. What happened? How do I fix this? What's going on? Did he make the whole thing up? Or is someone actually emailing him with my name? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?!

I figured the first place to start would be with Natalie. After I was tolerably calm, I replied: "I never sent him any emails. I don't even have it. I only sent him a comment on Monday and a message or two (from myspace) sometime in the last couple of weeks. But whatever. That's his problem. You don't see Larson or Ty freaking out cuz I send THEM stuff."

And now I'm waiting for her reply. And all I can think is "WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Natalie shouldn't have said she gave me his email because it's not true. He should have asked me about it. I would have told him. He didn't need to just start ignoring me. I believe human relations should have their basis in utter honesty. Who cares if it's harsh? I'll get over it because I treasure honesty above almost all else. And someone who will be brutally honest about it? Priceless. They've earned my respect for life.

I feel like Cathy (ya know, from “Cathy's Key”). She had someone also pretend to be her (over text instead of email)...and, well, you'll have to read it, but it truly is similar to my own situation. I just hope my situation can be remedied (hers was).

I don't know what to think.

Any advice would be INCREDIBLY helpful. And I'd be eternally grateful to anyone who could help me fix this.

P.S. Sorry my post is so long. I made it as short as I could. There's just a LOT to tell.

P.P.S. Something comes to mind as an afterthought. This friend of ours, Jen, used Natalie's picture and pretended to be her while she talked to some guy in the next town over. Now he's found Natalie on MySpace and thinks that SHE'S the one he's been talking to. And now I'm worried that maybe Jen is doing the same thing. Only with someone I actually know (and sorta like) instead of someone I neither know nor care about. I don't know though. Do you think it's possible that's the case or am I just clutching at straws do you think?

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I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as h*** don’t deserve me at my best. --Marilyn Monroe

Posts: 13 | From: The Capitol of Creepatopia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Is there any reason you haven't considered just sending him a message via MySpace and letting him know what your friend told you, and why it's not been you sending all those messages?

But if this can't be sorted out and he's not willing to consider your side of the story, you may just have to move on. I'm sure it's confusing and frustrating to get involved in situations like this, and it sucks that your potential friendship with this guy was sabotaged, but after all you did only know him for a couple of days and you'll have plenty of opportunity to meet other nice, funny guys.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Independence_Day
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Member # 39211

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I'll try it. Do you think he'll even bother to read it?
Posts: 13 | From: The Capitol of Creepatopia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Well, there's no way for either of us to know that. So you'll just have to take that risk. But like I said, you don't have a lot to lose here. So just be honest with him, and if he doesn't see it, or still doesn't believe it, then you'll just have to move on.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Independence_Day
Neophyte
Member # 39211

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It worked. Thanks. We're all good now. [Cool]
Posts: 13 | From: The Capitol of Creepatopia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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