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Author Topic: Open Relationships
Kadkitty
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Do open relationships ever work out? Like a couple going from exclusive to dating other people, and planning to possibly go back to exclusivity later...
Posts: 50 | From: United States | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Horizon
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Of course, that's possible.

But I would not necessarily say that an open relationship only works out if it results in a monogamous relationship; that's not always the goal with every relationship model.

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-Kayla
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"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

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Kadkitty
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well I was wondering because my bf wanted to date other girls, but also me because he says he wants to be with me...but I said no.
it just seems more likely that one of us will get hurt that way...

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Horizon
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If you're not comfortable with having an open relationship, then you are not obligated to simply because a partner wants it that way.

Honestly, he's probably not the one who will be hurt by having that sort of relationship-- you are, if it's not what you want at this time.

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-Kayla
Scarleteen Volunteer

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

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Heather
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Just an addition: by all means, sometimes couples toggle back and forth between monogamy and nonmonogamy.

But when I see that work is when at any given time, the given model chosen is the one both partners want, not just one, or where one is just conceding to the other wand waiting for them to come back around to the other model.

Since it seems clear you want monogamy right now and he does not, it might be productive to have a discussion about why you both want the different things you do, and be sure that both of you do want to be in the relationship you're in and are each getting your needs met.

Sometimes -- not always, by any stretch -- a person in a monogamous relationship asks to see other people because they want to see what else is out there, and shop for a new relationship while still have the first to fall back on. For obvious reasons, that's not so kosher, especially since it's really unfair to the person waiting. So, I'd check in for a bunch of reasons, including the possibility that he's just not feeling happy in the current relationship. Given your last post, it certainly sounds like the relationship has not been strained of late, and I'd be unsurprised if one or both of you were thinking about moving on.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Kadkitty
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I already know why he wants to see other people, he wants to see what else is out there, like you've said. Well because I wouldn't agree to the open relationship, we "broke up" but the next day he changed his mind and now we are back together...
Posts: 50 | From: United States | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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