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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » New relationship issue

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Author Topic: New relationship issue
Member # 30364

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I have just started seeing a really great guy - I really hit the jackpot with this one. He gets tested regularly; even asked if we both could make a day of it - as you guys suggested, he is polite, considerate, respectful. Everything I could ask for.

But here is my problem. I have been sexually active with one person, the person I lost my virginity to. I am not sure on the exact number of people he has been with, but it is certainly more than one. We were discussing oral sex and I said that I would swallow when he had an orgasm. This immediately freaked him out - he says a girl he used to date left a bad taste in his mouth and he thinks any girl who does that must be like her. I was insulted. I thought it was ridiculous I had been with one person, made my own decisions during sex and he was going to put me down for it. I got pretty upset needless to say. I ended the conversation and said "I would never hold your past against you".

He is confusing the heck out of me and I just don't know what to do. I was pretty turned off after that conversation and may consider avoiding oral all together. It's like, it's not okay that I have had sexual encounters before him, but it's alright that he has - which makes him a hypocrite. I feel like this is a double standard as well - you know, girls are supposed to be afraid of sex and not open with their sexuality. What should I do guys?

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 33665

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Hey babybear. I can't quite tell by your post, so could you elaborate a bit about why you feel he is holding your past against you? What has he said or done specifically to make you feel that way?

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30364

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He basically said "It's okay that I have done a number of sexual things in my past, but it's not okay that you have". Not those exact words of course, but ver similar.

He was appalled I have swallowed after a man has had an orgasm, yet it's okay that he has had oral sex with a number of women. Regardless, I talked to him about it and we worked things out. Thanks anyway!

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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