it seems like there is like a love triangle. there is this boy that i like i can even go as far as to say that i love him. he loves me back. but he is currently going out with one of my friends. i feel bad because me and the guy have been hooking up behind her back. i know he is dumping her soon, but should i stop what me and him are doing until he does so? i love him so much im only fourteen but i love him
Posts: 7 | From: canada | Registered: Jun 2008
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He might be telling the truth, but his word can not be 100% trustworthy. Telling you he's going to leave his partner, is actually a very common lie to people in this situation, it's therefore a risk.
You'd probably benefit from thinking about your relationship with your friend, who he' with, and if that is something you feel prepared to risk.
Loving someone can sometimes mean that we'd do a lot for them to make them happy etc, but it shouldn't mean so much that we can't assess our own feelings, and it doesn't mean that things are out of our control because of how strong our emotions may be... it's still your responsibility to think about your friendship and how much your friend's feelings mean to you if you think (as i usually suspect) they'd be hurt quite badly.
It seems to me pretty unfair to take that risk their relationship without their consent. If this guy was really into you and cared about his current partner, as you'd hope he would with you, he'd not be taking chances at hurting her, or stringing you along, if he says he's going to make changes, then that may be the proving of him. But until then you just won't know.
I'll also say that there are lots of different opportunities for different sorts of relationships throughout life, skipping just this one won't mess up any of those, but not doing so might be pretty devastating with a relationship you already have with your friend.
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