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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Overprotective Parents ........I Need Help

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Author Topic: Overprotective Parents ........I Need Help
okiegirl
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Member # 38893

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I'm in college about 2 hours from my home town and about 3 months ago I started to date this guy I had class with. I haven't let my parents meet my boyfriend because they are very over protective and judgemental. Well he went home for the summer and I stayed school to take classes during the summer. I told my parents my boyfriends and I's plan to see each other on the weekends, he comes to the school one weekend and the next I go to his hometown. well we only see each other one day or so. The dorms I stay in are like apartments so when he comes down he stays the night with me, but when I go down to see him I go early in the morning and leave before dark because we live 2 hours from each other.

This last weekend I went to his hometown and didn't tell my parents that I was going but when my mom called and asked me I told her where I was and when it got really late ( cause we were fishing with his friends and I couldn't leave to get back to my car to go to my dorm) she got mad and said I had planned to spend the night with him along, but I hadn't. His parents don't care if he stays with me or if I stay with him, but my parents got mad and my mom called me a ho and my dad said any guy screwing his daughter should at least meet him. I was in tears. It however gets worse I'm 20 years old and my boyfriend just turned 21. He is the first guy I've ever had sex with and my mom is forcing me to get and STD test and a pregnancy test (cause I'm not on birth control) and my parents are trying to force me to change colleges. I refused and now they are saying that I'm out of control and I'm not the daughter they raised, and my dad is even going as far as to threaten to quit paying for school. My boyfriend has been great telling me how much he cares and how my parents are overreacting, but they get upset that he says these things. They blame him for my decisions but every time I tell them I chose to do something they act like I'm lying about it. They accuse him of being controlling and treating me badly but he isn't when I get upset he is usually the only person who can comfort me and when I'm mad even if its at him he makes me smile in a matter of minutes. I care very deeply for him but they act like he's terrible for me and treat me like a whore because I had sex with him (which was my choice) I know I should have been on birth control but we weren't stupid about it. I don't drink, I don't party, I do spend time with him and his friends and their girlfriends but they are really fun and laid back and never get into trouble. I work part time while going to school full time although I didnt do that this last semester when I first started dating my boyfriend. I will however this fall when school starts, my dad is saying the only way he'll let me stay is if there are "NEW" rules which means a 10:30 curfew even on weekends. My parents dont know he comes and stays with me at my dorm. I want to be with him but I worry that my parents are going to push him away. I've also been thinking maybe I should just get student loans to pay for college and live my life my way and that way I don't have to worry about what they think and its not because of my boyfriend they always over react on every little thing and are always disappointed in me. My grades are good and haven't suffered since me and him have gotten together, the only thing is if I get student loans to pay for college I'll be cutting my parents out of my life, and I don't want to be 80 and paying on student loans, but I feel I'm old enough to make my own choices and live with whatever consequences come. I know they love me and don't want me to repeat the mistakes they made when they were younger, but they're so busy trying to do that, that they're keeping me from living my life. Any help or advice you can give would be appreciated. Sorry it was so long

Posts: 4 | From: texas | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Angelfire
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Member # 36735

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I donít think that your situation will improve by not letting your parents meeting your boyfriend. They donít know the guy so obviously they are going to be concerned about their daughter. I would strongly recommend organizing a weekend where you and your boyfriend travel down to see your parents. Let them spend a little bit of time with him so that they can get to know him and see what he is like. After meeting him they may not be as worried about the relationship between the two of you and things might start to settle down. Hope this helps and good luck [Smile]
Posts: 16 | From: Australia | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
okiegirl
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Member # 38893

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I'm already setting a meeting up between them, the only reason I ever put it off was because they were against me and him being together from the beginning because they felt he would distract me.
Posts: 4 | From: texas | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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