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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » NEED Guidance, SO Lost!!

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Author Topic: NEED Guidance, SO Lost!!
Member # 36480

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Ive been dating this girl for about 7 months. Its been an amazing 7 months for us. We have expierenced things never expierenced before with each other. Really close relationship. However, we broke up for about a month and a half in the middle. The reason was, she chose her career over me. It happened very suddenly catching me off guard. She then partied and had the time of her life for the month and a half, while I was Pretty much completely heartbroken. I worked hard to gain her affection back, but had no luck. When I finally gave up on her, and tried to move on. She came back to me, saying she made, a huge mistake and that she really did love me. Truth was a really still loved her. We got back together and the relationship grew very strong, stronger than before. And it had seemed that we found our match. I then went on vacation to cuba for about a week. When I got down there I had the time of my life, I really felt what it was like to be single again, It felt incredible. I had plenty of opportunities to explore other plessures, but chose not too. I would not cheat on my gf. When I got back, something had changed. I felt more confident and out going than ever before. Sad to say but I felt really independent and wanted my space to have fun and party with my friends. I wasn't really thinking of my gf the whole trip and felt distant when I came back. She got the sense I was being distant and really poured on the affection, looking for that reassurance that our relationship was strong. I feel very distant from her, but at the same time Love her to pieces. I'm torn between 2 feelings, On the one hand. I would like to expierence life and different women, because I am young and dont plan to get married anytime soon. On the other hand, She is an amazing girl and Ive never been happier with anyone else, I do see a future with her. But I'm just unsure on what to do. Do I go solo again, risking losing her forever or do I stay with her? I'm very confused. Any suggestions? Id love to hear it. Thank you.
Posts: 5 | From: Toronto | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38836

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hey, u if you both love and want to be with each other like you say you do then it worth being in relationship. no one says you have to get married sure you have your whole life ahead of you so enjoy the relationship while yous are together, who knows what the future holds but in meantime yous can strike a balance, by spending some time with your mates hanging out or partying or whatever then rest of time spend it with ur gf, it is possible to do things without your gf but just remember she is still a part of you and deserves as much of your time as your mates. on the other hand if you want to date other women then it may be for the best to end the relationship as it would not be fair on either of you in the long run. hope this helps u.
Posts: 33 | From: ireland | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37952

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Have you spoken to her at all about how you are feeling? Sometimes the best advice that you can find will come from someone who is truly involved in the situation.

It sounds to me like you need to a lot of thinking within yourself, no one can tell you what to do or how to feel or who to date.

"Showering" people with affection isn't the same as having an actual conversation about things that are bothering you.

Remember that just because you're single doesn't mean that it's going to be all partying and fun. You could have as much fun bringing your girlfriend to a party and having fun with her.

You said that you never thought of your girlfriend when you were in Cuba, but that "you had plenty of opportunities to explore other pleasures, but chose not to," because you would never cheat on her. That is a bit contradictory, at least the way I'm interpreting it.

People change. New experiences and challenges in life can often cause dramatic changes. So, maybe you two have grown apart. Or else, you just need to lay out how much time you need together and apart, and whatever else may come up.

I agree with Concerned: just because you are dating this girl doesn't mean you will end up marrying her. The future is a fun toy to play with, imagining all of the possibilities and how they would come about. But really, nothing is ever set in stone. New things come up as you grow and other things that seem so important, fall away almost unnoticed. You can't know what will happen, but that is that joy of life.


There is an upside to everything, sometimes you just have to turn it upside down to find it.

:-) Vikki (-:

Posts: 153 | From: British Columbia | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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