Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do I show that I care?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: How do I show that I care?
perfectshadeofdarkblue
Activist
Member # 29821

Icon 1 posted      Profile for perfectshadeofdarkblue     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Basically, my boyfriend of 2 years and I got into a major argument. He thinks that I'm with him because I just need someone and because it's convenient. He also thinks that I'm comparing him to my exes and thinking that he is inadequate in some ways.

I feel like I have been a terrible girlfriend lately and I can see how I made him feel that way. However, it's NOT TRUE AT ALL. I've told him but now he doesn't really believe me and is really upset about it.

I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. Does anyone have any advice or any ideas about what I can do to make him see what I see? Thanks.

Posts: 44 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, what have you done lately that you think has been making him feel that way? And what did HE express that he needs to feel better?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
perfectshadeofdarkblue
Activist
Member # 29821

Icon 1 posted      Profile for perfectshadeofdarkblue     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, like I said, we were fighting - it got kind of intense and I said something and completely worded it wrong. I was trying to say that I was sick of him being irresponsible, but the way I said it made it sound like I was comparing him to my exes. It was totally unintentional, but I can definitely understand why he's upset by it, obviously.

Lately he has expressed that he feels like I'm only with him to BE with someone and that my neediness is the only thing that prompts me to try to keep us together. I'm not so sure what I'm doing to make him feel that way. I know it has a lot to do with mentioning exes. I've also had a lot of personal problems in the past year (anxiety and depression). They caused me to be really removed from everything - I was also extremely moody. I know this really affected our relationship as well.

I just am not really sure what to do because no matter what I SAY, he thinks I'm just doing it because I NEED to be in a relationship, which isn't at all true. But again, I don't know what else I can say since he won't believe me.

Any advice?

Posts: 44 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bellaitaliana69
Activist
Member # 29887

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bellaitaliana69     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In this situation I think that the best thing you can do is apologize for hurting his feelings and ask him what you could do to make things better. You won't know what he needs from you unless you ask.

--------------------
"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

Posts: 136 | From: Roma, Italy | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3