I think everyone goes through a period in a serious relationship where they think that this relationship could be the only one they ever need, but looking at it realistically, people change, and life situations change, and what may be fantastic now might not be what you need later on.
Have you tried talking to your boyfriend and saying that it hurts you when you're the only one who says "I love you"?
Sometimes it's not only a cooling off that brings about this sort of change, but an intensity.
When my boyfriend and I had been together just over five months, he started acting a little strange. If I said "I love you" too much, he'd get uncomfortable, and it was hard to get him to say it back. Finally, he told me he was thinking about breaking it off.
I was devastated, and very hurt.
He ended up not breaking it off though, and he told me that the reason he was distancing himself was because he got scared - he felt really deeply and truly in love with me, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to carry on with a relationship that was that serious.
We've been together almost a year now, and our relationship feels stronger than ever.
So my advice is to talk to your boyfriend about it, and ask him about why he's been acting the way he has. Maybe he doesn't even realize he's been doing it.
Something else I would advise though... is to find yourself in the relationship, whether or not you intend on remaining in it. It's never good if you really absolutely could not cope without your partner.
Posts: 25 | From: VA | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged |
In addition to lightmyfire's advice about talking to your boyfriend about it, how is your personal life? Do you still talk to your friends from before you got into this relationship? It's never good to put all of our emotional eggs in one basket (or on one person), so I would suggest you start hanging out seperately from your boyfriend with your own friends, keeping up those relationships. The thing is, relationships can come and go, as much as we don't want them to, but friendships can last a whole lot longer. In time, you may find that friendships are far more valuable than any relationship you can be in.
It would be especially good for you to branch off from your boyfriend now and focus on some friendships outside of him since you are saying you don't know how you'd cope if you broke up with him. Granted, that is something younger people will often feel, especially in first-time relationships, but it really isn't healthy to feel that way. Get out, hang out with some friends, and maybe give your boyfriend a little space. Relationships where people see each other all the time tend to fizzle out pretty quickly anyways, so a little alone time will be good for both of you.
-------------------- Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
Thanks, i appreciate your advice. I think i'll try and give him some space, maybe not see him for a few days. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right? I just want to build a strong relationship with him.
Posts: 116 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2008
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.