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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do you create Intimacy

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Author Topic: How do you create Intimacy
Member # 37807

Icon 10 posted      Profile for sarahwashere87     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was watching Gilmore Girls (nerdy, I know [Smile] ) earlier and this one quote really struck me.

"Not just the sex, but the holding-hands and the falling-asleep- next-to-each-other stuff. I mean that's where the crazy intimacy comes from"

I thought it would be nice to start a thread so we can share how we foster intimacy in our relationships with our partners.

For me, it's sleeping in the same bed as the person I'm with. There's something about spending that many hours together in so close to each other that makes me feel incredibly connected to that person in a way that I wasn't able to feel before sharing a bed.

Posts: 22 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35451

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^^I so agree! A couple of years ago when we got home from school one afternoon me and my boyfriend were really tired and fell asleep together on the couch. When we woke up his grandma was taking photos of us cause she thought it was so cute, so it was a little embarrasing but it also gave me a really nice feeling of intimacy. Nowdays my boyfriend sleeps over at my place once a week and even if we dont get to spend as much time together as we like during the week, sleeping together feels like it strengthens the bond between us. I love being able to cuddle each other and fall asleep in each others arms and just have that phyical connection with him the whole time. Then if I wake up before he does he looks so cute when hes asleep, or if he wakes up first then I wake up to see him looking back at me and smiling and running his fingers through my hair or something. Its a really nice feeling.
Posts: 22 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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I think it's important to keep in mind that intimacy is about more than just the physical stuff. A lot of intimacy and creating intimacy has to do with communication: sharing your feelings with your partner, being open about your past, working through the problems in the relationship, and such. Once you have the emotional bond that comes with good communication, it can make the physical stuff that much better and make you feel that much closer.

Personally, I've found that after a big talk with a partner, I've felt much closer to them, even if physically we weren't anywhere near each other. So much about healthy relationships and strong relationships has to do with good and open communication that I really think that's where intimacy should start, in our heads and not with our bodies.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38145

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i agree with orca... me nd my girlfriend have been threw so much nd every time we overcame sumthin... it jus like made me appreciate nd luv her so much more...

"If art is a crime, then may god forgive me"
- anonymous

Posts: 14 | From: ny | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Typical Young and Dumb Teenager?
Member # 37530

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I think that sleeping on the same bed/couch/ect. is definitely one of my more intimate times, but I also agree with Orca, a long talk and just a little communication goes a long way. As my boyfriend would always tell me a few months after we started dating, "Its the small things that count", and to this day, I still believe it.

Young and Dumb.
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." - Keith Urban

Posts: 243 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27045

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I agree with Orca as well... as a member of a LDR, I find that sharing my feelings with my partner, whether we're together or apart, creates the most intimacy for me. Being honest is really the most intimate thing you can do for someone, even, and sometimes especially, if it's hard.

"We all have wants and needs and desires, strange as they may seem. If you stop to think about it, we're all pretty creative, cooking up all these fantasies. It's like a kind of poetry."

Posts: 48 | From: Los Angeles, CA, USA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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