I haven't been on here in a while, but I'm having some issues.
I just got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship and I managed to find someone else right away because I spent the last half of my relationship debating whether or not to leave... but that isn't the problem.
I have this older guy friend. I'm 19 and he's 23. We met when I was 14 and we became good friends a little over a year ago. We're at different universities. He came up in November for a visit. He stayed for about a week. He slept in my room on the air mattress. I was in my old relationship then. I was nervous about him coming to visit... I never had a guy friend stay with me for that length of time... I was uncomfortable for the first couple of nights, but we had fun and he never gave me any reason to feel uncomfortable!
He's coming up at the end of the month to visit for about a week. We've been planning this for a month... we're going to go to the casino, watch some movies, go to a hockey game, play video games! I was really excited that he was coming up! Well, yesterday I was talking to him about the guy I'm seeing and he admitted that he was interrested in me. I didn't really know how to react... I've never had feelings toward him before... I was speechless. I apologized to him about babbling on about the guy I was seeing and he said that it was okay. He's happy that I am happy and he wants us to stay good friends.
When I first met him, he always said some things online that made me feel uncomfortable... nothing major... he would say "Hey babe!" or give me an emotioncon hug over msn. Eventually I realized that was him being him and didn't think much of it. Last night he said that he could see us together and that really really freaked me out. I am nervous about him coming up and staying with me... he's proven to me that he is trustworthy, but that doesn't stop me from being concerned. I would love to spend time with him, but the situation is kind of black in white. If he visits, he has to stay in my room... I live in an apartment... I can ask my room mates if he can stay in the livingroom, but ever since I've come back from spring break, they have had their friends stay the night a LOT. The airmattress in the living room has been set up for the past week and now my room mates lie all over it and watch tv. He's either here... or not here.
The guy I'm seeing now knows that he is coming up, but he doesn't know that my friend likes me.
I'm not sure what to do. Any advice?
Posts: 80 | From: Canada's East Coast | Registered: Jun 2006
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Have you told him how you feel about him, or are you not yet sure of how you feel in light of this new information? If you don't feel the same way towards him as he does towards you, then you should clarify that with him now so he knows where he stands. That might clear up any confusion between the two of you. It most likely won't make his feelings for you go away, but it might make things a little less awkward.
As for the sleeping arrangements, you pay rent, too, and the living room is usually considered shared space. If your roommates consistently have their friends sleep in the living room for the night, then I think it's more than fair for you to ask for your friend to sleep there for the week. Just let them know that you have an old friend visiting for a week and that you would prefer he sleeps in the living room so you can maintain your privacy when you sleep, or something like that.
-------------------- Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007
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