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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What a crappy reason to break up!

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Author Topic: What a crappy reason to break up!
Member # 25983

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Have you heard this before? I sure know I have.

But exactly what does this mean, to you? What is a "crappy reason", or "no" reason, for breaking up with a romantic partner? Do you or someone you know have the mentality that without a "good" reason, one should stick with a relationship?

He's not happy with the amount of sex? She's just plain bored? They found someone else? They want to focus on their education/career? They don't want to be together forever or just explore other possibilities? I've heard ALL of these used as examples of cruddy reasons to end a relationship!
Generally, I feel that breakups happen when one or both people are not satisfied, not happy, or just plain looking for a change. In my mind, those ARE good reasons to break up, regardless of the intricacies.

How do you feel? Share the "crappy" reasons you've heard!

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Well, in my last relationship I had tried to break up with the guy for about half a year before he finally accepted it. Basically, every time I tried to break up with him he wouldn't accept my answers because they were "crappy" reasons to break up. Let's see how many of them I can list before I get annoyed. [Smile]

-I told him that we had nothing in common or very little in common, to which he asked me to say what we DIDN'T have in common (like that's easy to answer).
-I told him that I was just unhappy in the relationship and there wasn't anything he could do to make me happy (but I did say it nicer than that).
-I didn't like having sex with him because it made me feel bad about myself and he wanted me to do things that I wasn't comfortable with and had told him I wasn't comfortable with, but he still persisted in getting me to do those things.
-He made fun of me in front of his friends.
-He changed the channel whenever I was watching something and refused to change it back when I asked, but freaked out if I changed the channel while he was watching something. (In and of itself, this isn't that good a reason, but that he reacted this way with everything was a good reason.)
-I told him that we were headed for different career paths and we should be able to make decisions about our lives and futures without having to worry about the other one so much or we'd end up sacrificing the things we really want to do in life and regret it later.
-I didn't understand or care about the studies he picked and he didn't understand or care about the studies I picked so we never had anything to talk about.
-When I did try to engage a discussion with him about my studies or something interesting I'd read, he dismissed it instantly with a rude comment about how whoever wrote it was an idiot and I was simple-minded for even considering it.
-I see the world in grays, whereas he sees the world in black and white.
-He was going into a career that I didn't respect, and if I couldn't respect his career then how could I respect him and make the relationship work?

I actually told him all of those things on one night once and he still thought they were all crappy reasons. Even if the other HUGE problems in the relationship (like the fact that he treated me pretty badly) didn't exist, I do feel that those reasons listed were pretty good reasons.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29112

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I had a guy friend who told me he wanted to break up with his gf because they were getting 'too domestic' and weren't doing exciting things anymore. I was very unimpressed. Later I found out that he'd been trapped in the relationship almost from the beginning (long story) so I don't know how much validity there was to that reason, but I feel like it was a crappy one anyway! He could have tried to spice things up if that was the real reason, I feel like.
Posts: 21 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37104

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i was broken up with because I was "too nice"...he said if he had to pick between super nice, "kind of bitchy" and really mean he'd pick the bitchy one...great
Posts: 40 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 28346

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Some "crappy" reason I've dealt with have been more "the straw that broke the camel's back." Like, let's say he wouldn't stop throwing his wet towels on the floor, or we got in a fight about the way to cook something and then you get super angry and just can't take it anymore.

I agree with you Lauren, there really isn't a cruddy reason. Kind of like there are no stupid questions, there are no crappy reasons to break up, if that's what you really want.

Posts: 1180 | From: WA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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