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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Changes

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Author Topic: Changes
Castaway
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Well, after going through a rocky breakup and a good cry while listening to some music to help me rid of it, I wanted to forget about it and find a new relation. Bear in mind that I may still feel heartbreak and such, but I try to ignore it as best as possible. But anyways, there's this person at school who I've taken an interest to. I guess you could say we are aquaintances, and I've really been wanting to hang out with her more. I just want to know how to be able to get closer to her and, hopefully if she doesn't have one, be her boyfriend.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
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Well, hanging out with someone more and getting to know them is a good way to get closer to them.

Sometimes it can be easier to go out with a bunch of mutual friends, or to do activities that are less "date like." Do you have any friends in common? Is there stuff you both like that you could do together that will let you hang out and get to know each other better?

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Castaway
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I'm not really one with many friends. I've never really..."hung out" with her, really.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mimble
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I think you should wait a little longer before embarking on another relationship. It seems to me that you're almost using this relationship to forget the other. But yes, you should try to hang out as friends first, to get to know one another...you never know what will happen next! Hope that helps...=/
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Castaway
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And why, praytell, should I wait? There is simply nothing wrong with just getting into a new one.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Leabug
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(Castaway, you posted on this board asking for people's opinions, so it's just plain rude to shoot them down when they give you theirs. Let's maintain a civil tone here okay?)

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Lea

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libertatissacra
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I do think you should be a little careful with jumping into a new relationship. I don't know how long ago your last relationship ended, but personally, I think it's just important to be sure that you get into another relationship because you want to be in a relationship with this new person, and not just to help you get over your last relationship and feel less lonely.

However, assuming that you genuinely like this girl, I'd say find an excuse to get her phone number, and then call her some weekend and ask if she wants to get lunch or coffee or something - you know, something low-key that's not really a date, but that gives you time to talk to each other and get to know each other better. That's usually what I do, anyway, whether it be to persue something romantic or just because I think someone may make a fun friend.

I usually say something along the lines of "Hey, I'm just kind of sitting around and I'm a little bored. I was scrolling through the numbers in my phone and found yours. We don't talk or hang out enough! Want to meet up and get coffee or something?"

That generally keeps things pretty low-pressure for everyone, and I've ended up getting to know some pretty cool people that way.

Granted, this may just be something that tends to work for me and the kind of personality I have, but maybe it will point you in a direction of action that feels comfortable for you.

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"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
-Oscar Wilde

Posts: 115 | From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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