Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » what to do

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: what to do
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

Icon 5 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A couple months back, I started seeing someone. We really, really hit it off. We saw each other for about two weeks. Suddenly, the guy stopped calling me for about a week. I finally called him to see what was going on and he said he didn't really want to date much longer because of our age difference. I am 17, he is 20. I didn't think he handled it well by any means - he should have just called me and been up front rather then essentially avoiding the problem. From what I knew about him, he has pretty bad social aniexty - which I do too, just not as severe - so I figured that was why handled the situation so poorly. I shrugged it off because, well, I knew him for two weeks. No biggie.


Around three weeks ago I get an e-mail from this guy. Mind you, I hadn't spoken to him in a good two months... and uh, if my age bothered him so much, what is so different now? We started e-mailing each other back and forth for some time and he then asked me to hang out. He said " I know I was an a--hole and relatively immature - I just have really terrible people skills. I was wondering if you'd to want to get together some time".

So, I agreed. We went and saw a movie and went back to his house to just chill. Nothing happened - not even a hug - which was fine, it was a friendly sort of deal. We truly do get along well and all in all it was a fun night.

So, we talk for a few more days after we hung out. He told he would like to take me on a date sometime, I told him that would be fine.

Now here is the problem - I last spoke to him almost two weeks ago. I know it's impossible to know what's going on in his head but I am wondering... is he avoiding me AGAIN? Is he pulling the same stunut twice? I don't understand it all. Should I write this guy off or what?

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have you called HIM since?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Excellent point. I e-mailed him, he wrote back. Guess we'll see what happens next! I must remember that not everything is up to him!
Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...and especially with someone who has shared with you that he had social anxiety.

If you were nervous waiting for him to call, imagine how nervous he might have been?

Waiting by the phone is for girls who were told they had no choice but to do that in the 50's: not for any of us today. [Smile] It's not even so much as everything being up to one person, but about making one person be responsible and active while the other sits in the passenger seat. Relationships are where we share the wheel.

[ 09-10-2007, 09:22 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
We were supposed to go bowling. HE asked ME. He stood me up, never called me. I sent him a message over the computer at the end of the night simply stating "What happened to tonight?" He never wrote back and deleted me from his contact list. He also lied to my uncle (whom he works with) and told him that he called me and left me a message stating that he could not make it. Never happened.

I know for a fact I did NOTHING wrong, this guy is just a JERK.

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yep, sounds like. [Frown] Grrr.

Whatever his reasoning might be, for sure, you did the best you could, and time to toss this fish back.

Soprry, babybear: being blown off lie this always seriously sucks.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3