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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » what happens to relationships after high school: help us write an article!

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Author Topic: what happens to relationships after high school: help us write an article!
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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We're interested in writing a new article for the Scarleteen main site about what happens to relationships after the ending of high school. How do relationships survive (and thrive) when one or both partners go to college/enter the working world full-time/go into the armed forces/move on to the next thing? When do you hold 'em, and when do you fold 'em?

We get a lot of questions about it on the boards, and since I work at a university, I certainly see my students and advisees dealing with relationship problems related to the transition from high school to college.

So, we'd like your stories, opinions, and advice -- positive, negative, or neutral -- about relationships and the transition from high school to whatever comes next. Please let us know what name you'd like us to use if we quote you in the article.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

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Jill G
Member # 33485

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I could provide an interview or someting over the next few months? I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and we're in our senior year of high-school, entering into college next september. I love to write so I could keep a record or something if it would be helpful - I know I would love to have an article like that right now!
Posts: 8 | From: NJ | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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Great! Someone will be in touch with you soon about possibly giving an interview. Would you be interested in writing something yourself for the site? We're always looking for things for the "in your own words" sections. [Smile]
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Member # 35017

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It would be really cool if you did something like this. My boyfriend and I are going to university next year (the same one) and it's hard to find much information on the subject that isn't just "break up, it won't work". It'd be great if there was more information out there.

Depending on the time scale for this article, I'd be interested in contributing in some way. We'll be starting university in February, so it's still a few months away yet.

[ 09-27-2007, 08:09 PM: Message edited by: Moscowsnow ]

Posts: 13 | From: NZ | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35265

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My ex-boyfriend and I were together all through high school, but broke up three quarters into our first year of college.

The reasons we broke up weren't "next phase" related though, because the only change post-high school was going to college, but we were (and still are) going to the same college. Also, college didn't change our lifestyles very much, so that wasn't a contributing factor.

We broke up because our relationship was rather dysfunctional, and we had a lot of problems we couldn't work out. It wasn't mentally or emotionally healthy, and I couldn't deal with it anymore. We stayed friends after breaking up until recently, since I got a new boyfriend, and my ex didn't handle it well. We still carpool to school though, and are tentatively reestablishing our friendship.

"Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it is to be young." -Dumbledore

Posts: 8 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 15249

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I was dating a guy for about three and a half years in high school, and a little more than a year in college. We ultimately broke up largely because school and my studies are very important to me, whereas he didn't want to go to college, just to work. We had very different plans for the future, and he had a really hard time understanding why I needed to study so much instead of spend time with him. Distance wasn't an issue, we still lived in the same city.

As for advice: I say take it one day at a time. Don't make huge plans with your partner if you decide to stay together, because so many people break up as they change throughout college. I know a girl who divorced at the age of 19. So if you want to give it a try, go slowly. I don't know a single couple that was together in high school and is still together. I don't mean to discourage anyone, but it is something you'll have to work at to maintain.

Posts: 213 | From: Spain | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sedi Tlugvi
Member # 21797

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I've been dating my boyfriend for about four years now. We began dating in my freshman year [his sohpmore year] of high school. He's attending a university about 20 minutes away, so he didn't really disappear, haha. But the transition from him being with me everyday of school to him doing his own thing was rough at first. Ultimatly, though, it taught me how to be self sufficient [emotionally] and gave me the space to do my own thing. Now it's my freshman year of college and his sophmore and things are going well. :]
Posts: 75 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35256

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I have been dating the same guy for almost a year now and this year he is graduating and we have talked about what will happen after highschool and we both really love each other and since he is going to go to a university close we are going to keep out relathionship going even though i will still be in high school
Posts: 11 | From: florida | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35451

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I'm in Grade 10 this year but my boyfriend is in Grade 12 and will be going to uni next year. Even though the university is only a few suburbs away lots of people seem to think that we'll drift apart. But we don't even go to the same high school so its not like we've been together every day and then he'll be gone. Our relationship kind of developed through our athletics club and we'll still see each other there anyway. And we've known each other since we were little kids and apart from being my boyfriend since I was 13 hes also my best friend. I love him more then anything in the world and I know he loves me just as much, and we rely on each other a lot so our relationship is plenty strong enough. Its just dissapointing that so many people seem to doubt us. Maybe I'll come back here in a years time and prove them all wrong. In the meantime I found this link with a whole heap of people who are still with their 'highschool sweetheart'. So there is hope see [Smile]

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Member # 35457

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well, I've been dating my guy since junior year. we're both in our sophomore year of college, and everything is going really well. Lots of people, even we, doubted our relationship, and didn't think it would last the first year like so many other relationships do. The best thing is to not set your mind too far into the future. If you do that, you tend to start to fear the worst. If you take it one day at a time, and take the good with the bad (and learn from the bad), the results will be good.
Posts: 26 | From: California | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29242

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I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. I am 18 and just started university. He's 21 and has been in the work force for a year and a half. I'm six hours away from him.

Everyone says that long distance relationships never work. We are two totally different people... I almost broke up when him before I left... mainly because he does a lot of little things that get on my nerves... but I didn't. I've had a run-in with one guy since I've been here, and basically what that taught me was that my boyfriend isn't as bad as I thought he was. It changed my attitude about our relationship. I saw him last weekend... and we had a lot of fun... I honestly think that this relationship has a chance.

Posts: 80 | From: Canada's East Coast | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 33273

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I started dating my boyfriend freshman year of high school. He's the only boyfriend I have ever had. When college came around I started freaking out.

In high school, we spent almost every day together and with us both going to seperate colleges, I just assumed that life would end. I didn't see it working out. I had that thought because I was still pretty immature and didn't know how relationships worked. Our colleges are only thirty-five minutes apart but I still didn't see it working.

When he didn't get a parking permit I cried. But, for me, he worked out something with his old job so he could get a work related permit. He goes home every other weekend to work two ten hour days at a Wendy's. The other weekends he visits me at my college.

He wanted to show me this would work. And it did. I think I love him more now because the relationship is a lot stronger. It used to be hard to function without one another, but now we can which is something we needed to know. We also have a lot more to talk about being in seperate locations. We both are becoming different people but we still have our common ground and can work things out.

-Hayley Kubler

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Windy-La Raindrop
Member # 35470

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My girlfriend is a senior in high school, and I'm a freshman in college- three hours away. It's been a rough semester, getting adjusted to seeing each other three times over two months instead of every day, but we had some relationship factors already going for us before we left. Since a while before we'd began dating, we had a nightly email chain where we'd share thoughts that were our-thoughts, things we couldn't share where others could hear us, and keeping that going when I left was a big help. We take turns calling each other, on a particular night of the week at a particular time, and if we have to reschedule, we turn it into a bit of a big deal- we set up a "phone date" and get all excited about it. ^.^ I'll send random little happy things, bits of ribbon or notes or such to my sister via snailmail, and my sister will sneak them into my girlfriend's books at school. And of course, I get to go home every once in a while, and I make it a priority to make time just for her. It helps to know that once she's in college too, no matter where she is, she'll have a lot more mobility. This is, after all, temporary.

I feel like there's a lot more I could say... if you need more interviews, I'm a willing volunteer.

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

Posts: 23 | From: On the third shelf, right next to the ketchup. | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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