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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » breaking up

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Author Topic: breaking up
Meg[atron]
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is there any "right way" to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Tips on nice things to say while doing it are, much appreciated!

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Who is perfect in the eyes of perfection?

Posts: 42 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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In my book? Gradually.

In other words, a relationship is a dance for two. Throughout if it's healthy, both people are communicating pretty openly, so ideally, by the time a relationship gets to the breakup point, it shouldn't so much be some big, shocking event, but an agreement two people have come to, over time, even if only one really wants to end the relationship.

But really, doing a breakup "right" is SO dependent on what the given situation and relationship is, so it's mighty hard to speak to what's right for any one person or couple in generalities.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
acs79
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Be honest. This doesn't mean that you have to be mean or cruel. But being open and gently honest will make the entire moving on process a lot easier for both of you.

And do it in person. I had one boyfriend simply leave the country for three months without telling me he was going. By the time he came back, I assumed that it was over. Another boyfriend broke up with me over email while I was in France, even though he knew that my family was falling apart, my brother had attempted suicide the day before, etc. etc. (And another one told me both times that we broke up that he had only dated me for my body and he was bored with it, but that's another story. At least he was honest, I suppose.)

In other words: show the other person enough respect to be honest, kind, and brave about it.

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Meg[atron]
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Thank you Heather and acs79. I dont think I can break up with my boyfriend in person, we only hang out at my house. I think it would be akward for him to have to leave, after we broke up. I brope up with him a few weeks ago, and then we got back together six days later. He wanted to get back together more than I did, apparently he missed me alot. I'm getting fed up with the same things over again, and i need to end it. Via phone might be my only option =/

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Who is perfect in the eyes of perfection?

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pinkveins
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i feel the same as u do w/ my bf right now meg.....i dont think phone would be that great though maybe you two could meet up somewhere...phone is kind of cruel and impersonal and if you dont want to hurt his feelings you should probably do it face to face even if it'll be awkward, and then by your facial expressions/body language/etc he'll see that you really don't want to get back together anytime soon instead of calling you and calling you begging for you back. thats my advice.

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you promised me heaven but put me through hell...
</3

Posts: 72 | From: illinois | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Meg[atron]
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thanks pinkviens. I'll try to meet up with him somewhere.

Goodluck to you pinkviens, with your boy trouble.

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Who is perfect in the eyes of perfection?

Posts: 42 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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