I dated this guy named "Josh" on and off for about 2 years. We started dating in December of 06' and then he dumped me in March of 07' (the day after out 3 months) then he went around flirting and hooking up with some of my best friends and then my cousin. I want to be friends with him and I have tried but he won't let me. He won't talk to me or look at me or anything. But, he has his friends stare at me, then "Tyler" will text somebody, then continue looking at me and doing everything over again. He started talking to his ex's again. Now if I have a boyfriend he goes back to my cousin, then if I don't have a boyfriend(we break up) about 3 or 4 days later him and my cousin "Shelby" break up. Me and his best friend "Sam" dated before I started dating "Josh" and now me and "Sam" are flirting and talking again and have made out 2 times. And tonight me and "Sam" and "Josh" and "Tyler" were at a bonfire and me and Sam were hanging out and Josh didn't look too happy. He will look at me, then when I look, he looks away. He tells me he is over me and wants me to get over him but, why would he care if I was or not? What I don't get is WHY he won't be friends with me or talk to me. Me and Josh have been through SO much stuff when we were together and not together, and we were MADLY in love it was crazy. Got any advice? Of WHY he would be doing all this?
This sounds like a drama-fest waiting to happen. Don't play into it. If he wants to play games -- and dragging other people into it is an especially nice touch -- instead of actually communicating with you he's being immature and unreasonable.
I don't think there's anything you can do. You can't force him to communicate with you, you can't make him stop dating every time you do. What you can do is ignore him. Eventually he will get tired of playing reactionary games and either move on or make a real effort to be friends with you.
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001
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But why would he do all of this? I just wanna be his friend but he is making it TOO hard. He told me he'd never talk to his ex again because she cheated on him AALLOOTT then he talks to her in front of me. Well, I think me and Sam are dating now. And I'm just waiting for Josh to find out and see what kinda drama happens. I don't like any of this. I try to ignore it but, it just continues. WHY does he wanna do all of this?
Because he's manipulative, immature, bored, has incredibly poor communication/social skills, wants to control you, etc. Pick whichever sounds accurate. Either way, he's not behaving like a friend and he certainly doesn't seem to be providing you with anything of value.
I'm sorry I can't offer and definite explanation for his actions but my previous advice still stands: cut him out of your life. No one needs someone who only wants to play manipulative little games. Don't play along, just lead your life in a way that makes you happy.
Edited to add a response to the title of your thread: No. People who love us make a real effort to communicate with us. They try to work things out in a way that is mutually beneficial, making compromises when necessary. From what I've read, there is nothing like that going on here.
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