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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Crushes can be terrible things..

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Author Topic: Crushes can be terrible things..
-arsyn-
Neophyte
Member # 27744

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Is it a good or a bad thing when just being near someone makes your skin hot and tingly, and the air harder to breathe.. and you're just so terribly nervous you can barely look them in the eye? Or think of a single intelligent thing to say?

I mean sure he already has his pick of all the giddy lovestruck girls. And you're sure you love another, but you've had this crush for YEARS. And you're sure there is just no chance in the world.. but still, you replay every encounter with them over and over in your head and can't get them off your mind?

Oh, crushes. [Embarrassed]
They feel absolutely hopeless, and yet it's hope that keeps them going. They can last a day or what feels like forever.

What do you say, Scarleteen? What is one to do?

Posts: 35 | From: Oregon | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
faifai
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17971

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It's ok to have crushes. [Smile] We all get them. Even people in relationships find others attractive. That giddy, bubbly happiness/nervousness around someone is usually quite enjoyable, whether you act on it or not.

You don't really have to "do" anything. If you think you want to pursue this person, go for it! You'll never know if you have a chance or not unless you try (unless the crush-ee is in a monogamous relationship; then, you really shouldn't try to interfere in their current relationship).

If you don't want to actually pursue them, that's fine too. It's perfectly normal to be attracted intensely to someone - only if it were interfering with your daily activities or causing you to act in an obsessive manner would it be a problem.

Also, if it's seriously affecting your self-esteem or something to the point where you think you're just worthless if you can't "get" this person, then I would say the crush is definitely not a healthy and normal thing. Even then, it would be more of a problem with one's need to be validated by other people rather than any particular crush; those kinds of "if I can't do [insert activity here] I must not be worth anything" feelings usually go beyond romantic situations.

[ 05-31-2007, 02:30 PM: Message edited by: faifai ]

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disconnect and let me drift/until my upside down is right side *in*

Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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