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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » ex/best friend/bully

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Author Topic: ex/best friend/bully
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My boyfriend moved to another state for his work and for school. We were best friends, and we would visit each other a bit, but basically it was long distance and hard. When he would visit he would often get mad at me for "ignoring" him or not paying enough attention to him, for example at a party I would go with him and many friends and I would make an effort to still socialize with my friends and not be one of those girls who forgets everyone exist when around a boy. We would go home after and he would get so angry and sometimes cry. It was awkward. This general thing happened a lot, I didn't call, email, talk to him enough etc. It was hard for me because I would rather see/not blow off my friends and do things rather than sit on my computer or phone talking to him all night, that just made me more lonely.
He eventually broke up with me even though we weren't exactly together at this point anyway. After this he then visited again for work and stayed with me.
In this week we did have sex and laughed and kind of picked up our best friend relationship, yet he still would get moody on occasion during our time out with other people and say I was ignoring him and say hurtful things like "don't touch me, I don't want to talk to you right now, why am I even here why don't you go dance with the people you actually like" etc. We would then go home and he would breakdown and I would have to baby him until he felt better. He is so nice and funny and a lot like me in other aspects so I really do love him and it's hard to stay mad at him for his episodes. Recently I was studying with my friends and my AIM was on and away without me really knowing or caring, and I guess he didn't get me so he was Iming my friend asking where I was and she said I was with her, so when I signed off so I could study he sent me a nasty text being like "fine,whatever, have a good life". When I explained I was studying he still was being weird. It annoys me when he talks to my friends about me asking where I am etc. He of course got over this, but a few days later said he was going to move and work somewhere else, and when I questioned
him about moving when he has another year of school where he is living, he said something along the lines of "well the only reason I was going to stay here was because I thought you were going to move here and be with me" when I never said this, and have more school myself. After this I needed a break from him and stopped returning his emails for about a week and focused on myself and finishing up this year of school etc. Yesterday he sent me a text saying "goodbye" and an posted something on his myspace that was strange and a bit ominous sounding and I am worried. I emailed him asking him if he was okay and called him but he didn't respond.I am so frustrated by this all and I don't know what to do.
I love him, and he is truly my best friend but he is either mad at me or whining at me a majority of the time. I almost feel like he is bullying me in his own way. I don't know what to do at all.

[ 05-23-2007, 06:10 AM: Message edited by: Dus8or ]

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I can't write much right now because I'm at work, but I just wanted to post a little something.

This guy really reminds me of someone I used to be friends with, right down to the anger and the crying. He'd get all moody and and try to make me feel bad when I was hanging out with other people, among many other things. He'd basically do a lot of the things your friend is doing.

It's extremely manipulative, and really something you shouldn't have to put up with. Someone who's a real friend wouldn't do these things.

I'm really glad to hear you're still able to focus on yourself though, and distance yourself from him. That's definitely a good thing.

I ended up ending my friendship with the manipulative guy by the way, and have felt so much better ever since. He was dragging me down with him. In my opinion, it's something you should seriously think about.

Hope this helped a little

[ 05-23-2007, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: blysse_norwood ]

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