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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » help plz

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Author Topic: help plz
TheCitizenErased
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Member # 31269

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Right, Iam Sorry because this could be rather long lol and theres 2 subjects that iam going to talk about so bear with me! [Smile]

Anyways...


Iam usually a very happy person but ever since me and my mum found out that my dad was supposidly cheating on her (which we found out on the 24th of december) it made things worse for me and for my family.
My relationship with my dad has always been basically crap and ive never ever got on with him and what happened on xmas eve made things 100 times worse.Ever since then there has been times where my mum has had tae physically hold me back from fighting with him.He provokes me 24-7.
Soon, everytime i went out with my girlfriend i would be down and it would affect her.I hate doing it too her but i cant help but let things get to me.Me and my girlfriend are very close and love each other so much and we tell each other everything and shes been trying to help me with my family problems and ive been trying to help her with hers.
But this is where the big problem comes.She never shows it whens shes in a mood or down, no no what she does is she goes really hyper and i feel that i cant control her and it really annoys me.I want to to talk to her about it but i dont want it to sound as if i want her to change for me either though she said she would.But honestly it really affects me and annoys me and puts me usually in a bad mood or if iam already in a bad mood an even worse mood.I love her to bits and never want to hurt her but ive honestly thought about breaking up with her beacause of it but if i really think about it, its not what i want.I want things to work.

Im sorry for the novel but its just that i need help and someone to talk to about this.

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Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
laur12
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Here's just a suggestion, you can take it or leave it. If you are sure that breaking up with your girlfriend is not what you want to do, maybe you can say something like "You can always talk to me when your down or having problems." Just assuring her that she can talk to you might help. And I'm so sorry about the family problems you are having, that must be really tough. I wish you the best of luck.
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-Jill
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quote:
Originally posted by thegodfather:
But this is where the big problem comes.She never shows it whens shes in a mood or down, no no what she does is she goes really hyper and i feel that i cant control her and it really annoys me.

I don't think I understood this. Will you clarify?
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheCitizenErased
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Instead of being like many other people when their down she acts happy and becomes hyper and it annoys me not just because theres something up woth its just the fact that she goes hyper that annoys me and i dont know why.

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Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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I think you need to recognize that every deals with their emotions differently.

Do you see your girlfriend's behavior as dishonest? If so that might be worth discussing with her. However, do keep in mind it might be her way of trying to maintain a positive attitude instead of allowing her problems to take over her life.

As far as expecting her to be able to change for you goes, that's just unrealistic. If she wants to make changes for herself and they coincide with what you want, that may work, but making changes for other people almost never does.

Right now I think you're best bet is to work with her on your communication and your expectations from this relationship. I also think it would be healthy for you to make an effort to be more accepting of who she is.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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