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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » New Experience

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Author Topic: New Experience
k_leigh7692
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Member # 30348

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Well, last night my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. He says he feels too much like he's married, we're two different people, he wants to be able to go and party, drink, smoke, and be with other people.

I guess I knew this was coming, I just didn't want to see it. He tried to break up with me twice before, has succeceded once other than last night. He's told me twice before that he's had a feeling of wanting to see other people. I think he's been thinking of breaking up with me for the last year.

I just want to know how I'm supposed to deal with this. I'm not entirely devastated like I feel I should be. I feel almost relieved. I'm a senior in highschool and so is he. I knew it would be better for us to be seperated during college. Now I won't have to worry about what he's doing, who he's with, if he's doing drugs, etc. What hurts the most is that when we first started dating, he was such a great guy and he still is, he's just going down the wrong path, one that I can't follow.

I've made a lot of sacrifices for this guy. Including moving away from my mother, father, and sister to be with him. I can't really express how deep of a love we had at one point. I guess he has other things on his mind and he doesn't love me like I love him.

I know I just have to protect myself and move on, and even though it's only been a couple of hours, I'm getting there.

Just, can anyone give me some advice on things like this? Dating for a couple months and then breaking up isn't like this. This was three years of my time, effort, love. We were each others' firsts. There was a lot invested into that relationship. Some advice, please?

Posts: 31 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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Member # 17924

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Time. As much as I know it sucks, you are going to go through a period where you'll feel hurt, angry, upset, depressed, lonely...you name it. Time is going to be the best medicine here.

As hard as it might be to see, there is a bright side here. It honestly sounds as though he had stopped caring about you and your feelings: I think, at the very least, it is a positive thing that he was honest with you about his reasoning for the break-up, but at the same time, c'mon. Breaking up with someone to go get drunk and smoke? That logic is a little flawed.

You deserve better than that. As difficult and painful as it may be to separate yourself from someone who was your first in a lot of ways, it's going to be better for you to be with someone who is willing to invest time in you, instead of wanting to go party.

Serious hugs coming your way. I know it is hard, but give it some time.

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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