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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My friend needs help....

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Author Topic: My friend needs help....
archer
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Member # 27799

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This can be long and confusing but then my friend's in a mess and I am confused too so I thought I'll see what my friends at scarleteen think of this....

Rewind to New Year's eve two years back when this guy who's in Bahrain which is quite the other end of the world called her at the atroke of twelve, told her he loved her and also proposed..She was shocked understandably but she tells me he's her childhood friend and then after many days to contemplation and thinking she decided to say yes to him...

And so a tomance blossomed between the two quickly and they did every thing they could with each other staying away...talking over the phone, smsing, chatting online, sending mails and from what she tol me...she's shared her entire life with him...he even used to get intimate with her on the phone at times.

And then suddenly one day she came crying to me and said he wasn't sure about the relationship and said he wasn't sure if he could give a commitment to her that he would marry her..because from what I understood at that time none of his parents knew and neither did hers...she fully confided in me..I sat her down and told her firmly that she must ask him if he;s sure of what hes doing and if he would marry her..I didn't want to see her go through this heart ache and told her she must do it...

She did and he seemed to have said he loves her to death but then marriage was too far away and I think she loved him too much and continued with him inspite of the fact that he wasn't willing to give her a commitment....

And then one day the bomb exploded and she was pale and deathly when I saw her...she told me he had called her and said this relationship wouldn't work out and that he loves her but then they had to move on...she was heart broken but with friends around she survived....

I thought it was peaceful finally at her end and suddenl one day he messaged her again and said she he loved her and was missing her and realised she is a part of his life and he wanted her back....she didn't reply to him and avoided him but then he kept messaging her, calling her, sent her offline messages and what not....

Finally I guess she was flodded with old memories and she cried to me that she loved him and when he wanted her back why should she say no...I tried to make her see sense that he was the same guy who dumped her and wasn't sure but then I was helpkess when I realised she loved him....and who was I to pass a judgement on the guy? I am a friend of hers and dint know him as much as she did

And so it all started again the romance, the sweet talks and all..and I was holding my breadth till every passing day and I had this strong feeling that something was going to happen and I sighed when I was right....

She's normally a possessive person and he's someone who doesn't like being told what to do and what not to do...and he has his own set of female friends whom he hangs out with and every time she calls and hears a female voice she sks him who is that? what are u doing with her and all...which makes him upset...she feels terribly insecure and even goes to the extent of checking out his orkut scraps to see who has scrapped him and what....

I told her that she must give him space and not make him suffocated and that's exactly what he felt I guess. That day he sent her a message which said "as idiotic as you are...I still love you.....but I need my space ok?"

She is scared to death that this is again THE END for her and I have been telling her it's not true and it's only that he wants space badly and I can sense that.....

What do you make of this message? And what do you think of this whole thing?

I am scared to tell her she should call it off for fear that she would think I am not her friend and trying to break her relationship rather than mend it.....but I see no future in this relationship at all....and have serious doubts that it would survive

And just for information I don speak to this guy at all, in case ur wondering if she's jealous that I talk to him and she told me that I also could speak to him but then I don wanna interfere and I dont

So the big question is WHAT DO I DO?

Thanks a lot for people who are reading this and willing to help out my friend

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archer

Posts: 104 | From: India | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lolathefish
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Member # 33683

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wow i think he is just messing with her, i mean i could be wrong and he would really love her but he doesnt seem like the type to be true.. it seems like maybe he only came back to her because maybe he was lonely.. she should move on BUT THAT IS ONLY WHAT I THINK!!!!!

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Life is to short to be spent waiting for someone to come along. Just keep living and making every day worth it and the person your waiting for will come along anyway.

Posts: 40 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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