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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » unsatisfying love life

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Author Topic: unsatisfying love life
Member # 32281

Icon 5 posted      Profile for PopcornLover09     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I love my boyfriend very much but lately it seems that I'm just not satisfied with the sexual aspects of our relationship. He and I have never had sex, but we have fooled around quite a bit and are near to it. My only concern is that our activities now are unsatisfying. He only seems to focus his attention on my chest and butt. He doesn't seem to care about the rest of my body. I'm the type of girl who loves everything to do with my body. I wish he would pay more attention to my legs, stomach, and everything else. He just doesn't seem to go for any of that.
I've brought up it up in a few conversations. He just keeps saying that it is just not something he does. I was wondering, is this common amoung guys, or is it just him? And what do u suggest I do to fix our love life?

Posts: 5 | From: here | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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This sort of approach is common amoung people who either aren't really ready, aren't really interested in, and/or don't really get what partnered sex is all about.

In a word, "what we do" when we're with partners needs to be a combination of what we like and what they like: if all we're interested in is what interests us, or gets us off and not our partner, then we should be masturbating, not having partnered sex.

So, if you've had conversations about this and he just isn't getting that this is about BOTH of you -- and it's glad, no less, to talk with you about where you like to be paid sexual attention -- then I'd suggest stepping back from any sort of sex until he DOES show that interest. One-sided sex when there are two people present just isn't healthy or sound.

You up to one more big talk about this, or are you feeling it's time to give up for now, and just scale back the relationship to a platonic one until he gets it? It's really up to you.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32281

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Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it!
Posts: 5 | From: here | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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