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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » A simple question...

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Author Topic: A simple question...
Member # 30102

Icon 13 posted      Profile for OracleofDreams     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am a shy person, and not really the social type, and I have a hard time talking to people sometimes.

When a guy asks for my number, or if I want to go out with him that weekend, I have a hard time saying no because I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings when I'm not interested.

I's kinda stupid and trivial, and I"m trying to change my habits of letting people walk over me....but does anyone have any tips for what I should say when a guy I don't like asks for my number? (Besides just an outright 'No')

Posts: 30 | From: United States | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30533

Icon 1 posted      Profile for realtor55     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Say your already in a relationship?
Posts: 52 | From: Carrigan | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17971

Icon 1 posted      Profile for faifai     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Tell them the truth - that you simply don't like them "like that," and would prefer to remain friends/acquaintances/etc. If you're not in a stage in your life where you're dating at all and you know the person well enough to feel comfortable telling them this, you can say that as well. Just don't lie, it will backfire on you eventually and usually feelings get hurt all around when that happens.

It's right to be honest, it'll spare you both of having things get more awkward later on. I really think it's better that people are just honest and upfront about such things instead of feeling trapped into saying yes, thus giving others false hope that there might be a chance of something there when there isn't.

disconnect and let me drift/until my upside down is right side *in*

Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31486

Icon 1 posted      Profile for kiera     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Use body language (for example putting your hand in front of you in the "stop" position) and at the same time say something like, "If it's alright with you, I'd rather not."

The "if it's alright with you" provokes a response so that it won't be so awkward, and the "I'd rather not" coupled with the body language controls the response telling boys to back off so that they'll have to say "oh yeah, it's cool."

Then if they were nice about it, just shoot them a quick apologetic smile and walk away.

If they persist, then you should get more assertive, and say something like, "I'm really not comfortable with that-I need you to stop."

Posts: 18 | From: MPLS | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 33572

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babygurl2285     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Give them the rejection hotline number.

.:~!str8 up pimped babigurl!~:.

Posts: 27 | From: Tennessee, USA | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Originally posted by babygurl2285:
Give them the rejection hotline number.

Yeah. that doesn't strike me as a particularly mature thing to do, not to mention not in-line with the OP's desire to spare the person's feelings.
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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