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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Am I doing the right thing?

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Author Topic: Am I doing the right thing?
archer
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Ok I believe I am doing the right thing for both of us but then I need some assurance that I am...I have been friends with a guy and he's married and also has a kid. He told me recently that he wanted to have some pleasure with me physically(no no not sex and all) but just some fondling I guess....I seriously believe it's not right and I even told him as much...I have tremendous respect for his wife as a woman and as a person and though she wouldn't know it, she would get hurt indirectly and I am going to do all I can to see that she isn't....Now this guy thinks I don't love him anymore which is why I am avoiding seeing him...I may loose this friendship forever which seems likely but I am silently praying that I am doing the right thing....I am hurt that a friendship must be based on all this but then I am helpless and have to give in....I hope I have done the right thing..... don't know what else to do....Given a chance I'll save this friendship but then I guess I have no cards left with me....If I have to convince him and save this friendship I need a damn convincing reason which is where I am turning to you for help....Can someone tell me what I could tell him such that he's convinced I still love him but only since he's married I am not willing to do this....Because he's a nice guy otherwise

P.S This is not the guy I talked of having a crush on before

Posts: 104 | From: India | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
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You are absolutely doing the right thing here, archer. I don't think it's right either-- he'd be cheating on his wife and manipulating you. True friends don't pressure each other in any way, especially not sexually, which is exactly what he is doing here. "Nice" guys don't do this. Do you really want to maintain a friendship with him, because his behavior doesn't seem very friendly or kind. It's ok for you to like him, but also making the right choice by not acting on it. I'm sorry you're in a tough situation here; better friends and relationship potential WILL come along for you. [Smile]
Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
archer
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Thanks so much...I am counting on the fact that life would be kinder to me...It's hard for me to do this but then I don't really seem to have a choice....but it amazes me how can any one be so blind to what you feel? I just wanted to know it's possible for me to block him out ofmy life completely because I'll be moving to another city....But should I do this? I don't want to be this rude...it's not my nature...I don't even know if he'll come to his senses and apologize(it may be possible)....

He says he doesn't want to lose my friendship by doing this but sadly he's destroyed the friendship himself....Should I now pretend that nothing ever existed between us?

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archer

Posts: 104 | From: India | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
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It's good that you're listening to your gut on this; again, I'd say you're doing the right thing. I don't know about blocking him out of your life completely, but if that's what it takes to avoid him for now, then do it. What about just not contacting or replying to him for awhile, which should be easier with your move coming up. Good luck!
Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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