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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » problem! plz help!

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Author Topic: problem! plz help!
TheCitizenErased
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Member # 31269

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I have a gf.We have been going out for 5 months now and I really love her and adore her and she tells me continuously how much she loves me and even her friends tell me that she adores me and I have no doubts that she doesnt love me.I love being with her even if its only for 5 minutes.Even when Im on the phone to her Im happy (although sometimes I might not show it).
Anyway...to the point...
Occaisionally we fall out.Its not like arguing or anything its just like we go in moods with each other.It really annoys me and its usually over something stupid but this never happens when we are in person, its always either over the phone or over instant messenger.
Sometimes I think about breaking up with her because of it but then I think about the consequences e.g seeing her with someone else and life without her in general and basically it would kill me and I try to push the whole "breaking up with her question" out of my head but yet it keeps coming back and back and I keep asking myself if I should.This is really starting to depress me and she can see it.Ive had no problem telling her stuff like this before but Im afraid that if I tell her she will take it the wrong way and say " why dont you just break up with me then?"

I have no idea what to do and this is really killing me inside either though it might seem trivial.What do I do?? [Confused]

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Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
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Well, a couple of thoughts here...

First off, it might be time for a reality check in regards to your expectations from relationships. You are not going to find somebody with whom you never disagree or fall out a bit on occasion. There are going to be those moods. It's just going to happen. No matter who you are with or how long you've been with them, there will be some conflict. There are also going to be days where you may feel a bit less attracted/madly in love than others. It's just something that happens as you've been together for a while. Now if there are other problems or if you're having consistent, big arguments, that's a whole different story.

If you are truly unhappy in the relationship though, it certainly is time to get out. If you're unhappy and are constantly wishing that you didn't have to deal with any relationship or if you're arguing a lot, that may just be a sign that now isn't the time to have a relationship or for the two of you to be together.

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Sarah Liz

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheCitizenErased
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Member # 31269

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Thanks for the reply!
I am really happy when Im with her but it all changes when Im not and I only ever want to be with her.

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Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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The problem with that is there will always be times when you're apart. It's pretty much impossible for any couple to be together ALL the time.

Have you tried working on your communication skills? If you're doing just fine in person but frequently have problems when talking on the phone or computer it's possible that you both need to improve the way you use those tools.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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