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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Should I "test the waters"?

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Author Topic: Should I "test the waters"?
Tetris
Neophyte
Member # 33273

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I'm a senior in high school and I've been dating my boyfriend since freshman year. He's my first boyfriend, and I was his first girlfriend. All of our firsts have been with each other, so you can imagine the trust we have there. [Smile]

We're going to different colleges next year. I'm not really worring because they're only 20 minutes away, and that's like how far our houses are right now.

We're very much in love. But, a lot of my friends say that I should break up with him to see what else is out there before college so I'm not scared. I'm not scared of guys, almost all my friends are, but I am a little wary about getting into relationships. I'm not even 5 ft tall and everyone is big and scary and I have been groped on many occations at parties and by customers at work. I guess I've got a big chest for someone of my height and people think I don't have boundries. My friends tell me I need to get over it.

I think if I'm happy with my boyfriend now, why should I leave him? Am I right? Or are they?

Posts: 23 | From: Somewhere | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wobblyheadedjane
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Member # 11569

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If the same friends that are encouraging you to 'test the waters' are the ones telling you to get over being sexually harassed by strangers, then I'd be inclined to take whatever they say with a grain of salt the size of my head. If this is happening at work, I would definitely talk to someone in management to let them know you're being harassed by customers. Many employers want to stop that sort of thing. It sucks that people are not respecting your boundaries just because of your height and chest size. [Frown]

As for your boyfriend, I say go with what makes you happy and feel good. If you have a loving and trusting relationship, there's no reason to leave it. I did the same thing when an earlier partner went to college while I was still in high school - as it turned out, we lasted the long distance, but once we were in the same town together, it didn't work out anymore. If you don't want to break up with your boyfriend, then why would you?

What does he think about all this?

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tetris
Neophyte
Member # 33273

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I told my manager, for awhile I had someone watch me when I was out in the store. (I work in a deli at a grocery store so I only leave sometimes to stock stuff) Now at parties my boyfriend like never leaves my side. I don't go to like drinking parties but I went to one were some kid showed up drunk. We locked him in a room but he still managed to get me before. Blarg.

He doesn't want to. I haven't really told him what they have been saying but once I asked him if he wanted to. I thought he was going to cry when I told him that. He's got this whole marrige plan worked out. I'm not sure if I'm ready to think that far in advance though, haha!

Posts: 23 | From: Somewhere | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KorrinaSky
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Member # 33281

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Im currently on the same track as you are. Im in highschool though a bit younger then you, Im a Junior.

If you really love him....why spoil a good thing? I mean if you feel the need to branch out yourself then by all means do so,its healthy if its what your body is telling you to do.

I personally havent left my bf from freshman year, even though my friends have said i need to branch out I feel no need to. I love my boy....why end a great relationship?

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*Doing It*
RIGHT

Posts: 5 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tetris
Neophyte
Member # 33273

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I was just making sure I wasn't stupid for wanting to stay with him. He's everything. And I mean it.

A lot of my friends can't stand dating someone longer than a month or have never dated someone so maybe they are jealous. I don't know.

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Ecofem
Activist
Member # 13388

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Tetris, I replied to your post in Support Groups and then read this. I know you said you trust him and stuff, but something just seems to not be 100% about your relationship from that post? (Nothing wrong that you're doing, just a funky feeling on my part.) But it's not something to worry about leaving if it's due to pressure from your friends. [Smile] I wouldn't say they're jealous as much as just not knowing what it's like to be in such a long-term relationship, be it not wanting such a commited relationship or not yet having met someone who'd they'd want to be long-term with. Is this something you could about with someone with such long-term relationship experience, like a parent or older sibling or cousin?
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Tetris
Neophyte
Member # 33273

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Really, that's like the only thing that's wrong. I know it seems odd. I just pushed myself into that situation so I really think it was my fault. we never really talked about it and I guess I rushed it.

I don't have anyone to talk about it. Everyone either lives too far away. And I'm not really comfortable talking with my parents about it. Oh well!

Posts: 23 | From: Somewhere | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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