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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » my perfect boyfriend

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Author Topic: my perfect boyfriend
November
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Member # 29762

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my younger sister set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends and i cannot believe how perfect this boy is. he is absolutely amazing and he feels the same way about me. unfortuneatley, my "smart" sister decided it was necessary to tell him a couple days before i met him that i had "hooked up with a friend but it was no big deal" because i didn't even like him. all that stuff she said is true depending on your definition of "hooked up", i basically just made out with him and nothing more. now, i've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 months now, and i can tell it's still on his mind but he won't ask me about it. he has attempted to guess which one of my friends it was twice before. we are very open about our past relationships, i just don't tell him about sexual things i did with my last turd of a boyfriend. i know my boyfriend won't bring it up, but i don't want him to keep on worrying about this, i want to clarify this. should i just bring it up? i care so much about him, but it might make him more frustrated. i don't want to tell him who it was unless he really wants to know. but i do want to tell him that it meant nothing and he wasn't even a good kisser, but it did help me get over my last turd of a boyfriend. i don't know what to do! i just don't want him to worry anymore! haha, i should yell at my sister. i can't believe she told him!
Posts: 63 | From: US | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
November
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side note: i'm willing to do anything for this boy! i would completely stop talking to my friend, mostly because we talk once in a blue moon, if my boyfriend asked me to. i want him to trust me even more than he already does. i want to bring it up this weekend when i get to see him, so quick responses would be nice. thanks everyone!
Posts: 63 | From: US | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
faerie88
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well if it meant nothing to u then i don't see a problem in telling him if it would satisfy his curiosity. Are u afraid of how he's going to react when you tell him?
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November
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it's not like i'm afraid that he'll break up with me. i wouldn't use the word "afraid" it's just if i were him, if i was told too much, then it would start to make me doubt myself in a way. i don't want him to think about it even more.
Posts: 63 | From: US | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Whether or not it is still on his mind, it's clearly still on yours. So why drag this out more if it's obviously an issue, in one form or another? Bring it up, talk about, and move on.

Discussing past relationships with a new partner is, IME, always a bit tricky. On one hand, the sharing is good for trust and communication and it helps you understand the other person better, on the other hand it's always a bit uncomfortable to picture your partner with someone else. Regardless, what's happened is past and it's a part of you and it's something you want to have out in the open so you can discuss it and put it behind you.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
November
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yeah, i'm kinda tired of him trying to sneak in a guess. i know he doesn't want to know what we did, but i do want to let him know that i didn't sleep with this guy. maybe i should just let him ask the questions. i have a lot of trouble keeping stuff from him and it's really bugging me that i haven't mentioned any of this. i wouldn't want to talk about it if my sister hadn't mentioned it though. what's bugging me is that he only knows that i "hooked up" with a friend, but that allows him to create his own story.
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September
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You don't want him to keep guessing and making up fantasies about it and you want him to know that you didn't sleep with this guy. Not to mention that keeping things from him bothers you. Sounds like it's time for you to bring this up to settle it once and for all. What's stopping you?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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