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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » boyfriend and antidepressants...

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Author Topic: boyfriend and antidepressants...
Member # 29769

Icon 1 posted      Profile for lexie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
mm not completely sure this is the right place to post this but...

i recently started going out with this guy, and he said he'd been somewhat unsettled recently... "had issues with the universe"... and had been a bit unhappy. last week we agreed to make it more serious, and i stayed the night on thursday, knowing he had to go to the doctor in the morning, and he told me just to sleep in till he got back. everything was fine and normal all day. then that night on msn he started saying how amazingly happy he was and how well his "brain medicine" was working and apologized for being "insane", at this point i had no idea anything about what he was taking and asked what the name of the drugs were.. and looked them up and.. they are antidepressants. i dont know, i feel quite snubbed that im meant to be his "girlfriend" and i had no idea he was unhappy to the point where he wanted to go on antidepressants.. and that he hasnt been talking to me about whats bothering him. i want to be supportive.. but its like he doesnt want to talk about it with me? the last few days talking to him online he says hes really happy.. but he seems quite distant and vague, not answering me much. im not sure if i should just wait and see how he is in person and try and talk about it then. its upset me a bit.

Posts: 76 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1207

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I would say you defineatly need to talk to him about this ...

Remember though, because this is a new (or newly 'more serious') relationship, he may not have felt comfortable enough yet talking to you about it. Sucky, i know, if you feel he doesn't trust you or what-have-you, but there is such a stigma around antidepressants and depression in general, i think it's understandable. It is really hard for some people to talk about, even to those closest to them.

So i'd suggest you tell him just what you told us here ... Let him know that you understand he may be leery to talk about it with you just yet, but that you want to help. Don't push too hard though ... As i said, it CAN be very hard to talk about, and he may just not be ready yet.

Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 33078

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People also seem to be sensitive about thier mental conditions, and/or medications they may need to take about it. It could be as Smurf said, and that with a new relationship, he wasn't entierly comfortarable(sp) with telling you his problems because he thought they might turn you off. Just go and talk to him, and tell him that you really support him in this. Also, it is not too suprising that you never noticed. Stuff like that can be very hard to itentify, I have ADHD, and for 2 years did nothing about it, noone noticed anything. The mer act of telling him that you support him in this will help him a ton, and can probally cheer him up, he might be too nervous to come right out and tell you about it.

"Fear is the mind-killer"
-Don't be afraid.

Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Please also bear in mind that a lot of depression is chemical, rather than situational.

So, if you have the idea that just talking to you could have "fixed" his depression, or that medication is an alternative to support from friends or partners, adjust your thinking, since in many cases, it just doesn't work that way.

And for all you know -- based on your post -- he had no big plans to seek out medication, but got it as a result of communication between him and his doctor.

Too, depression also can create very real emotional barriers for people, so just up and talking about it when you're in the thick of it is often very difficult.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29769

Icon 1 posted      Profile for lexie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I guess, even though its new, and only recently serious, we seemed pretty open anyway,

I understand that it may not be situational, ive been there.. i think i understand, and i know i couldn't just "fix" it by talking about it with him, but it might help.

but thanks for your advice. ill try and talk about it when i see him later in the week.

Posts: 76 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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