Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » yet another age difference topic

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: yet another age difference topic
Member # 31948

Icon 1 posted      Profile for snarky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i'm seventeen, he's nineteen (turns twenty in march). it's not entirely a huge age difference, but he graduated from high school at sixteen. since then, he's been working.

why am i bothered by this? i constantly feel like a little kid when we're together. as if i need to catch up.. or something. he's talking about getting his own place whereas i'm studying for my ap us history class. i have a curfew and he can stay out for however long he wants.

we're not keeping any secrets, and he respects all of the restrictions i have, because well, if he didn't that would be ridiculous haha. but it creeps me out sometimes, regardless of how much i like him. i don't want to date someone who reminds me of a 'father figure'. i need to talk about this with him, but i'm scared. i want to continue being in a relationship, but i need a new approach. i need reassurance.

blahhh. insecurities are lame.

Posts: 39 | From: los angeles | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Granted, at this point, he's been responsible for himself (mostly) for the last 3-4 years. Simply put, he's got more life experience than you, and that's okay.

It's the same for my fiance and I. His mother died shortly before we started dating, and as long as I've known him, he's always been on his own, made his own decisions, everything. I still live with my parents. Granted, I did leave HS for college when I was sixteen, but really? That's totally beside the point. He and I both accept that he has "lived" more, in that he's had more responsibility than I have, and that it's okay. I'll get there eventually, and so will you.

Don't let it destroy your relationship, because it's out of your control. If anything, listen and learn. Find out what worked for him, and see if it might be something that can work for you. He doesn't need to be a father figure for you to learn something. [Smile]

Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31948

Icon 1 posted      Profile for snarky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
haha, thanks. it's good to hear that someone else has been in the same type of relationship **and it worked out**!
Posts: 39 | From: los angeles | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32413

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ninster8     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
the problem is that you "feel like a kid" when you're together. i am a firm believer that age does NOT matter, but in some cases the level of maturity does. i dated some one much older than me but when we were together we felt like we could have been born at the same time. we are still great friends and i consider him my peer. my mom also has a boyfriend who is 14 years younger than her and i have never met a more perfect in love couple. ask yourself if you two are at the same level...if it feels good and right then it is, if it feels like the age dif is getting in the way it's wrong.


Posts: 10 | From: vermont | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3