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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Confidence

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Author Topic: Confidence
Member # 32051

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I know there isn't some instant remedy, but I have trouble with initially approaching girls. I'm an only kid who lives in a suburb and goes to an all-guys school, making for a somewhat shy around girls personality. Its also hard to find places to meet people. Any advice?

[ 01-03-2007, 08:22 PM: Message edited by: thejoesboy ]

Ya Basta! Enough is Enough! - ezln

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to save the world.
-Nelson Mandela

Posts: 23 | From: Buffalo,NY | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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Hey Joe, I hear you on going to school in a single-sex environment– it makes meeting members of the opposite sex (if just for friendship) a lot harder, and can make you feel shy or even as if the girls (or guys in the reverse case) are being objectified. (I went to a rural women's college without a lot of young men around campus, so when you did see one, it was like "Who's he with? Is he alone/single?")

Are there any community activities or groups you could involved in, where you could meet girls (for friendship or for dating.) How about a co-ed sports team/outdoor club or a part-time/volunteer job? You list "political activism" as an interest of yours: how about joining an activism group for an issue you're interested in? That way you'd be doing something you like and meeting people who are similar.

Do any of your classmate-friends have sisters/girlfriends/female friends locally whom you could hang out with together as a group? What about attending events like a play or concert or women's sporting event at your local coed public high school? Does your school have a "sister" all-girls school that you could plan an event/exchange for? What about just hanging out at a coffeeshop or youth center?

A general bit of advice in terms of confidence and shyness about girls would be to remember that they're people, too. That you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to act "perfect" around them, and that seeing them first as potential friends rather than potential girlfriends can relieve some of the stress.

How does this all sound to you? What things/political issues are you into? Here's a list from the Relationship FAQs on meeting people:

How to Approach People/Meeting People

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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