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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » get me off this roller coaster....(read latest post)

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Author Topic: get me off this roller coaster....(read latest post)
samantha357
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ok i've had a really big crush on this guy, Chris, since late May '06. i've lately been driving myself insane with good and bad what-ifs. so i decided to write him a note, telling him i liked him. Well that was yesterday. He still hasn't said anything to me.

Here's where my problem starts. I sit with his best friend at lunch, and today my friend asked him if he knew what Chris thought about the note. He said (talking to my friend, i was listening in) "Well, i do know that he doesn't want to go out with her..."

It crushed me. I'm so sad because i want to be with him so bad. I could just see how great we would work out together. I just don't understand i guess. Josh (the friend) said that "he's not much of a lady's man" and "doesn't really know what to do in a situation like this." That's what Josh says at least, who knows what's true.

I guess i need help on understanding Chris' thinking, and how not to be so sad about it. He's in my 3rd and 6th hour, we both made it into the COCDA honor choir, so its not like i can just avoid him till im over it. Its like nothing will make me feel better but Chris talking to me about it... and giving me a hug [Wink]

Help? Any guy views on this would be greatly appreciated [Smile]

[ 10-23-2006, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: samantha357 ]

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"All is fair in love in war... wait... that doesn't sound right..."

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest... & hurts the deepest

Posts: 81 | From: Oklahoma, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
samantha357
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and today i find out more drama. I over heard Josh talking to Chris and Chris didn't want Josh to tell me anything, because he wasn't gonna say anything to me, just leave me hanging. (he didn't actually say "leave her(me) hanging, i added that in to maybe make it more clear.) I just don't know what to....GRRRRRR! I was really mad when i found alll this out, but that has faded and now im really depressed again. I was trying to avoid all this rollercoasting emotions by telling him i liked him, hoping he would tell me yes or no if he liked me too, but he's just not....

PLZ HELP ME! i want to get off this roller coaster

--------------------
"All is fair in love in war... wait... that doesn't sound right..."

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest... & hurts the deepest

Posts: 81 | From: Oklahoma, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rachael
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OH hun
I know that having someone no reutrn your feelings is tough, but I hate it say it, it's going to happen about 100 more times in yrou life.
He might not know how to respond to what you;ve told him, most guys don't. They also think they'll get teased on by thier friends.
If he was a decent guy he would give you a response, but he seems like a jerk to me. and that kinda guy dosen;t deserve you.
I mean, who wants a guy that says "oh, i'll leave her hanging". I mean, what a jerk!

Now, I have absoluty no idea how old you are, but I'm geussing your pretty young, and if I can give you a word of advice, guys are going to be jerks for a while still, you'll occasionly find a good one though.

ps. Guys who have older sisters or are nerdy usually turn out to be the best

Posts: 19 | From: toronto | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
samantha357
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HA ha on the ps, he's really not a jerk, one of the nicest guys i know. and he is a little nerdy, not near as much as my ex, though. (i turn 15 on tues. btw) and i know its gonna happen alot, i just don't have any clue of how to deal with liking a guy SO MUCH, knowing you cant have him, and then knowing he won't even talk to you. I suppose (LOL) i could of added in that he's never had a gf before, and im probably the first that has openly expressed an interest in him. I just want to be with him SO BAD, i don't know how to put up with it...

"I mean, who wants a guy that says "oh, i'll leave her hanging". I mean, what a jerk!"

and he never said that..... the exact words more more along the lines of "i wasn't going to say anything..." (he was talking to Josh)

He is just so sweet. I tried to think of everything i don't like about him, cause that's how i get over minor crushes, but i really couldn't think of anything! I got it bad... i feel so naive(if that's how you spell it)... but i just want to be with him so bad... i just want to fall over and die....

--------------------
"All is fair in love in war... wait... that doesn't sound right..."

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest... & hurts the deepest

Posts: 81 | From: Oklahoma, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ghostie
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Perhaps a direct confrontation would get a straight answer..
It's very scary, and forward, but some guys need to get "cornered" as it were, to make a decision and actually say it.
In my experiences, you might never get an answer if something direct is not approached..
Also, many guys like confidence in a girl, and as he has never been in a previous relationship it may be easier for him to have someone like yourself who understands to kick start things for him.
So many guys are too shy to take the first steps that I think he and other people would admire you for doing something like this.

Good luck [Smile]

Posts: 165 | From: England. | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
samantha357
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thanx so much, that's the kind of answer i was looking for... i just don't want to scare him off... he's really shy... loves to be with just one or two friends, if not by himself. I remember the choir went on a cruise and he wasn't inside the boat for very long, the rest of the time he was outside on the deck. Even when me and my gal-friends came out and talked to him, every now and then he would just wander away... but thanx again, its hard for me to just right up talk to him because i don't have alot of confidence, but i'll try to talk to him before fall break is over maybe...(it starts this wed.)

Thanx for the 100th time! [Smile]

--------------------
"All is fair in love in war... wait... that doesn't sound right..."

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest... & hurts the deepest

Posts: 81 | From: Oklahoma, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ghostie
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I totally understand samantha, it can be quite nerve-wracking to not have great confidence and have the prospect of scaring off someone you like so much!
I have learnt now to always always tell a guy if I like them, at least that way I am not giving mixed messages and they know I am serious, but it takes a lot to do it the first time!

As you said he is quite shy he may not have thought through on what to say..so if he pauses you could always say "I know it's a little forward but I would really like you to think this over for me"
and, in the event he declines..you could thank him for telling you straight, but I am so sure you will leave people pretty stunned at your confidence [Razz]

Posts: 165 | From: England. | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
samantha357
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[Big Grin] that's good to hear. i really want to talk to him, just to get things straight, and out in the open. Oh... high school is so exhausting!

Thank you so much bubbles, you really helped me!

--------------------
"All is fair in love in war... wait... that doesn't sound right..."

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest... & hurts the deepest

Posts: 81 | From: Oklahoma, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
samantha357
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sry to keep bothering you guys, but i cant take much more of this waiting. all my friends keep saying "he likes you" "he likes you" and i dont want to beleive them because i know it'll only hurt worse. i just want to go live in my dreams. b/c in every one that he's in, he asks me out and we end up having such a great time together and i just wish that would really happen and uggg i hate this! i want to just tell him id rather him risk breaking my heart than keep me wondering like this.

But that's just it, i cant tell him. i like him so much i feel like i freeze when he talks to me. (friends say they dont notice, that i talk to him like i do to anybody under the stars) COCDA concert is week from this Sat. i'll see him there, and mayb at the dance this fri, idk if he's going. And at OCDA auditions.... so many places that something or nothing can happen.

i hate this. Plz yell at me or something to scare me into talking to him... PLZ HELP!!!

--------------------
"All is fair in love in war... wait... that doesn't sound right..."

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest... & hurts the deepest

Posts: 81 | From: Oklahoma, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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