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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I feel ridiculously lame

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Author Topic: I feel ridiculously lame
Member # 29978

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I've got this crush on my best friend, you see. He's a senior, I'm a junior, we hang out all the time, whatever. (I'm female; he's male.) We're always very honest and open with each other, including and especially about sexual topics. And, well, it's very hard not to think about him sexually. But I've chatted with him about girls enough to know that I'm not the type for him to see in a sexual way, and I don't want to screw up our friendship by expressing my interest in him - especially as he hasn't noticed or has ignored a few hints I've dropped. It's made it very difficult to focus on our friendship and being "normal" when I've got this crush going in the back of my mind all the time. I just don't know what course to take: if I don't say anything to him I'll just grow increasingly frustrated, and if I do it'll just mess things up between us and he most likely doesn't see me that way anyway.

I feel so silly posting to this board about such a juvenile crush, but ordinarily my best friend is the one I'd talk to about things like this - and obviously I can't... does anyone have experience/advice that they could help me out with?

Posts: 29 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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echomikeromeo, your post isn't silly or juvenile at all; it happens to people of all ages. [Smile] Not that it makes it easier to deal with...

I think you could approach this in two different ways. The first is that you decide you aren't going to say anything to him about it, and that you work hard on and stick to completely ignoring your feelings.

The second is that you take the risk and tell him how you feel. You can (and should) be honest about it: "_____, I've developed a big crush on you, which has made it hard for me to view our relationship only platonically. I know you may not at all be interested, which is totally ok; I will cross any thoughts out of my mind, and stick to our friendship." Or something like that. And you take his reply (he may need some time to think about it) and stick to it. Even if it means the two of you taking a break from the friendship for awhile.

I personally would go for telling him, taking the risk that your friendship would be affected. Maybe he would consider it. Maybe he truly isn't interested at all. But I think it's worth a try, if only to clear things up in your mind. Good luck, I'm rooting for you! [Smile]

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29978

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Thanks for your reply, Ecofem. I'm leaning towards this course of action anyway, I think, so I'll give it some thought and perhaps eventually act. :-)
Posts: 29 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29108

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i'd go for the second one [Smile] good luck, girl!
Posts: 24 | From: Argentina | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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